Before you crank ‘dat lever today ask yourself, “What would OBAAMA do?”
YUUUUUUUUUUU!
JaySmooth via OhWord
cRap Music Fantasy League Q4 Update Wk.4
November 5th, 2007
Congrats to the people at WDISL (What Do It Smell Like) Records on the launch of their new magazine and line of scented underdrawls inspired by Fox Boogie (doodoo) Brown.
This is the kind of forward thinking that you need to be a successful crap music mogul. Your not going to make money anymore on the sale of media. What you will make money off is the sale of a lifestyle. The image you convey to your listeners is what will convince them to consume the products you endorse for your lifestyle.
To that extent I asked the crap music moguls participaating in the Q4 cMFL to answer a few questions regarding the lifestyle they will convey to their audience. The point of the exercise was to see how many label owners knew how to keep their shit crappy. I’m proud to say that almost everyone had the same answers even though some of the music moguls are from places like Georgia, Holland, Canada, England, Texas and even Detroit.
I think that it’s the universatility (my word bitches) of cRap music that allows us all to use one crappy mind when we think.
1) What side businesses do you own along with your record label?
The overwhelming majority agreed that nail salons/barbershops were the way to keep the label cake stacked. How about buying a strip mall where you had a nail salon, rim shop and sneaker store in operation during the day and at night you hired the nail techs to cook up that chinese food, and manage a strip joint/massage parlor out in the back by the pool?
2) What will you do with your first million dollars?
Somebody said some crazy shit about starting a non-profit that would donate broken cell phones to crazy homeless people so that when they walked down the street talking to themselves at least they could have a phone to hold up to their heads. Most of you correctly answered that you would ball out until the wheels fell off.
3) Should T.I./Tip be set free?
Everyone seems to want T.I. to be set acquitted of charges that he illegally possesses firearms, but strangely enough they want Tip to be sent to prison to prevent T.I. from getting in any more trouble. Split personalities are taking over in 2008. I suggest you all develop one or twenty.
4) Should Foxy Brown be set free?
Foxy Brown should be set free inside of nail salon with a case of BlackBerrys because that is where she scores the most points.
5) Which is worse, getting raped or being arrested?
Getting arrested is good for crap music points. Getting arrested for raping someone like 2Pac is good for even more points.
Getting arrested for raping someone, and being raped while you are in jail[ll] is NOT what’s really good.
100 Miles And Running…
November 5th, 2007
Yesterday’s marathon reminds me of what my dad called life. I was so busy trying to grow up in a hurry because I thought that life was a sprint. My dad told me that life was a marathon and that pacing myself would help me complete the race. It took me so long to understand what he was trying to tell me. I almost disqualified my damn self like my name was RYAN SHAY. I’m still standing though and thankful for all my dad’s lessons.
Life is long party people, but if you work hard and stay true to your principles you will be able to see the blessings of your labor. My dad passed away knowing that I had finally found a real woman to love me and not some high-heeled hoochie hussy (which incidentally are my favorite type of broads). He saw me buy my first home and he saw my professional accomplishments. In that regard he knew his work here was done. I still wish he were right here though because I still need his counseling some times and especially his tough love.
iNTERNETS CELEBRITIES is going to be that crack that you need in your life. If I have to start producing these videos by myself I will, but I don’t, so I won’t. My point is that I am so serious about taking the i.C. movement up to the next level in terms of creative content.
The idea has crossed my mind that you folks would respond to us if we promised you new content on a certain day by a certain time. That will be our next goal in order to make that step upwards. Steady content featuring RAFI and I going in on whatever the fuck we want.
DP Dot Com has to finish off 2007 stronger than ever. If the fourth quarter is the entertainment industry’s ‘put up or shut up’ time then I have to show you folks who the JOE MONTANA of this blog shit is. Not so much JOE when he joined the Chiefs, although there was that Monday night game in 1994 at Mile High Stadium. Hey, you get the point.
Randomosity: Remember TODD BLACKLEDGE?
There is a brand new DP Dot Com mixtape going out this week so keep an eye out for a package in your snail mail post office box.
Shouts to NERDITRY for the birthday gift. Shouts to big brother ERNIE PANNICIOLI for sending me his O.G. copy of the VANESSA WILLIAMS Penthouse premiere. Shouts to Kenya for being so effin’ hardbody every year.
Shouts to you for running with us.
SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!
November 5th, 2007
NIKE stays in my wallet when it comes to copping shit from their Negro Leagues ‘Untold Truth’ series. They are maintaining a high level of premium leathers along with their most popular retro designs. You already know I have the JOSH GIBSON Dunks, and now I have the SATCHEL PAIGE Air Max 90’s. Once they create some JACKIE ROBINSON Air Trainer III’s the game will be over. I’m glad that NIKE showed SATCHEL PAIGE some love.
SATCHEL PAIGE is one of baseball’s most legendary players. He might be the game’s greatest pitcher of all time. SATCHEL PAIGE was able to throw two separate ballgames in a single afternoon. PAIGE wasn’t admitted into the Major Leagues until he was forty eight years old. He played professionally until his late fifties. SATCHEL was famous for his amazing array of pitches and his unmistakable quotations.
“I use my single windup, my double windup, my triple windup, my hesitation windup, my no windup. I also use my step-n-pitch-it, my submariner, my sidearmer, and my bat dodger. Man’s got to do what he’s got to do.” – (c) Satchel Paige
Premium butter soft indigo and wheat leather with detailed stitching of the player’s name on the tongue. Just the kind of flavor and quality that SATCH would have preferred.
Baseball’s Average Joes Stay Falling Upwards…
November 4th, 2007
The 2006 National League’s Manager of the Year wasn’t the Met’s WILLIE RANDOLPH. Even though he energized New York City’s stepchild baseball franchise and was within one clutch hit of going to the World Series he still didn’t do enough to impress the baseball writers who vote on that shit. These are the same writers who refused to induct BUCK O’NEIL into the MLB Hall of Fame despite his lifetime of achievement. Claiming racism is too simple and too shallow for these shitbag writers.
The manager who won the 2006 award will now helm the MLB’s version of Hollywood also known as the New York Yankees, while the guy who was just calling the on field shots at Yankee Stadium will move out to Hollywood to be the skipper for the wayward west coast Dodgers. JOE GIRARDI and JOE TORRE were both pretty inglorious baseball players even though TORRE did win an N.L. MVP in 1971. TORRE’s best work was in carrying the weed for HENRY AARON during the 1960’s. Wiping down the home run champs backsweat made TORRE look official.
JOE GIRARDI grew up in Illinois and then became a player for the home team after the Cubs drafted him out of college. GIRARDI is cut from the cloth of a frustrated military leader in his demeanor and rancor. As a manager he prohibits his players from wearing any facial hair. This rule is attractive to several people like the Yankees management and also the people that like to crossdress as women. I have a personal motto which tells me not to trust any man without at least a moustache. GIRARDI might wear a dress during the off-season. He seems like a power-bottom [ll].
Only in baseball can you be handsomely rewarded for under-achieving. Both of these average joes are among the highest paid managers in the game and their record for achievement when the ownership isn’t pouring billions into the team’s payroll is well documented. Hell, TORRE couldn’t win even with MLB’s highest payroll. GIRARDI will inherit what remains of GEORGE STEINBRENNER’s vanity project and I can’t wait for his ass to be unemployed the moment after he tells GEORGE to “sit down and shut the fuck up!” like he did to the owner of the Florida Marlins.
This isn’t a drop that extols for more Black managers because Blacks don’t even play baseball anymore. At least not english speaking Blacks, and I wouldn’t dare remind a dark-skinned Dominican of their African ancestry. Dominican’s are steady trying to bring Jheri curls back in order to get the Black out of their scalps. The bigger issue is how baseball and their indentured servant sportswriters constantly recycle their mediocre personnel.
Oh and yeah, Red Sox rule bitches.
