Save The Cheerleader, Save The World…

November 7th, 2007

vic shat

Don’t be a H8r!

If you all don’t know who H8TORADE is by now then you haven’t gone in to the BLU CHEEZ Ghetto Madness Photo Galleries. H8TORADE holds down one of the most popular image albums on that page. When he’s not supplying me with my fill of sweet white titties he is holding down his own corner on the internets.

H8TORADE Dot Com

The picture above and the following story come from H8’s site, and it is so fucking hot. Check it… The brunette on the left is named VICTORIA SCHATTAUER and she was the cheerleading coach for a high school in a sleepy Ohio town. Over the weekend she co-hosted a house party for some of the high school kids and it looks like she was also in charge of taking the memoribilia pics. I am not mad at her one bit. WDISL?!? It smells like teen spirit.

VICTORIA is 19 yrs old and the young lady in the picture with her is reportedly 15 yrs old (hence the covered up baby tittays – no ROBERT SYLVESTER). These images and more were distributed electronically via cellphones throughout their Ohio hamlet and by Monday morning VICTORIA and her co-host were both unemployed and facing some charges from the local police.

Some of you may be familiar with the case of GENARLOW WILSON. He was a teenager sent to prison after having consensual sex with another teenager. It was a mistake to send him to prison simply because he was a horny young Black kid. All people whose ages end with the suffix ‘teen’ are horny. That is the human biological condition. Period. Point blank. Laws and scarlet letters are not going to stop teenagers from banging each other out. Nothing in my life has been sweeter than the 18 year old action that I cut up on the regulack (when I was only 16 y.o. mind you).

We can’t let the authorities get their hands on these beautiful, young tittays just because they have these faux puritanical regulations that won’t let these bitches breathe until they are ugly and saggy. Look at those jawnts. The gravity defying perkiness. The coloring on the areola. The petite nipplage. If VICTORIA goes to jail and comes out forty pounds heavier this will have been the greatest crime against humanity. Forget protesting against the war in Iraq, Home Depot, KFC, Dog the Bounty Hunter or SIMON COWELL. We need to be marching on Washington D.C. with HAYDEN PANETTIERE as the keynote speaker.

Save the cheerleader, save the world.

ELECTING SHAWN COREY CARTER…

November 7th, 2007

shawnimage credits: Agent B

I imagine that a few of you used yesterday’s Election Day to cast a few votes of your own. From local assemblyman races to state representative seats Americans were letting their voices be heard. The loudest votes that are made aren’t at the polls however, but at the cash registers. Americans spend $60 billion dollars a day (actually, $2B more than they earn). So while some of you think that the levers, or buttons you selected will determine your services in the future it was most probably the opening and closing of your wallet that really does the choosing.

Some of you may have even purchased Jay-Z’s latest album. I give Def Jam’s president Jay-Z all the credit for releasing an album on a day where the malls would be a little more crowded and buzzing than usual. ‘American Gangster’ makes up somewhat for his lazy effort from last year ‘Kingdome Come’, but it still doesn’t reach the classic album status. Jay-Z’s dope dealing caricature was always an exaggeration that exceeded reality and finally he’s come to the part of the show where even he has to realize that WE realize this.

Still, Jay-Z rises to the occasion with a bevy of mainstream media outlets trumpeting the return of his grand hustle (no Fed gun charges). Even the New York Times hip-hop homo journalist submitted a glowing review of this album. Life will always be good for Jay-Z now. He’s crossed that threshold where acclaim and criticism still equals profit. GOD bless his heart, GOD save his soul. I had a few votes to place on this Election Day other than my ‘American Gangster’ selection and here’s how I kept it moving.

McGriddles bacon, egg & cheese sandwich – $2.79

McDonald’s iced coffee(large) – $2.19

Electric bill – $73.56

Blank CD-R media $17.99

CD laser copier labels – $20.99

Dishwashing detergent – $1.99

Orange juice (2) containers – $8.00

Reuben sandwich platter – $10.75

GOD bless America, GOD save our soul.

POLITRICKS 2008: What’s The 4-1-1? Still 9-1-1.

November 7th, 2007

rudy

RUDOLPH GIULIANI has been receiving MSM praise recently for speaking publicly without referring to the terrorist attacks on the World trade Center for almost thirty whole minutes. This is a sign that he may one day be able to speak for a whole hour without bringing out any more anecdotes of that fateful day burned into most of our collective consciousness. I doubt it though.

I don’t see why GIULIANI would even consider changing the game plan that has worked so well for him. Everything he has done in his political career up to this point has been centered around the fact that he may have better timing than a Swiss watchmaker. In politricks, good timing is even better than the truth. For a moment I’d like to dispel a few of the myths inside of the GIULIANI canon so that when you hear these talking points being pushed over the next twelve months you will be able to separate fact from fiction.

  • Myth #1: GIULIANI takes down the mob
  • The mob was so played out by the time RUDOLPH GIULIANI had his first assignment carrying weed for ALPHONSE D’AMATO. Actually, the Italian mob, which GIULIANI takes the credit for dismantling, was already on the skids. Meanwhile, the thorough Reds(Ruskies and Gooks) were handling their business like it was the Friday after Thanksgiving.

  • Myth #2: GIULIANI is a crime-stopper
  • Since most people in this country treat books like they carry the AIDS virus not too many folks have gone in on the book called ‘Freakonomics’. There is some heavy shit inside that book. One of the ideas they have proffered is that the birth control revolution that decreased the national birthrate in the 1980’s also decreased the national crime rate twenty years later. It wasn’t just NYC which saw a drop in violent crime, but the country as a whole. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, and speaking about mafia connections, BERNARD KERIK, GIULIANI’s consummate chronic carrier(no Spliff Star) is facing a Federal tax evasion and racketeering indictment.

  • Myth #3: GIULIANI is a 9-1-1 hero
  • Did you know that RUDOLPH GIULIANI dodged the Vietnam War by claiming he was going into the seminary? A man that will lie on GOD does not give a flying fuck about anything else. Non-New Yorkers don’t know how sick this city had become of GIULIANI and his equally opportunistic, family-wrecking, socialite girlfriend JUDITH NATHAN. Between KERIK, and NATHAN, GIULIANI had already created a public cocoon of bodyguards and defenders who refused to tell the king that he wore no underpants. That selfish insulation and lack of respect for anyone outside of his inner circle is why the Fire Department personnel would lack the communication devices necessary to save their lives before the Towers collapsed. If a somber, yet insincere press conference after thousands of people have needlessly died is what America wants for a president then RUDY should win hands down because that is what the Iraq aftermath will be.

  • Myth #4: GIULIANI is a Yankee fan
  • Anyone that claims to be a lifelong Yankee fan, and then roots for the Boston Red Sox can’t be trusted on his word under any conditions. Evar.

    Vh-1 Hip-Hop Honors: Total Fucking Access…

    November 6th, 2007

    i.C.'s

    We hemmed and hawed about dropping this video.

    What the fuck does Vh-1 even know about Hip-Hop?

    Does Vh-1 even deserve our coverage of their event?

    At the end of the day we discovered that it was, and will forever be so much bigger than just Hip-Hop.

    Enjoy.

    Big Thangs Piping…

    November 6th, 2007

    piper

    PIPER CARTER is one of my muses. She is a cool little Black hippie chick with an eye for fashion and beauty. Homegirl just took the next step to becoming the female GORDON PARKS ROY DeCARAVA.

    Vh-1 has a new Celebreality show called ‘The Shot‘ where aspiring fashion photographers vie for a chance of a lifetime position shooting for some high falutin’ fashion something or the other. I need y’all to send your prayers up to heaven for PIPER.

    Plus she’s just too cute not to win.

    piper