Image credits: Tony’s Kansas City
Hey Black People! More good news… Uh, not so much.
POLITRICKS 2008: So Right That He’s Wrong…
October 1st, 2007
White women heart RUDY, their ovaries… Not so much.
The ultra-neo-conservative faction of the Republican party is scared that RUDOLPH GIULIANI might undo some of the advances in the GOP that their operatives have been able to establish during the G DUBBZ regime. We’ve all seen the GIULIANI-as-madame photos which lead us to believe he doesn’t object to domestic partnerships. I’m fairly convinced myself that most of these anti-gay opponents are closeted homos anyhoo thanks to Senator CRAIG’s foibles. So even though these chicken hawk politicos love to talk tough and wear skirts for the most part their vaginas are still only figurative.
Women however, usually have vaginas. And it’s their use of those, what I call vaginal devices, that stirs the moxie of Christian coalitions and neo-cons. Most importantly is the fight over a women’s right to terminate a pregnancy. For the last eight years whenever G DUBBZ has wanted to distract voters away from his clearly retarded foreign policy he has chosen to say the word abortion in a sentence along with the word god. This has been the equivalent of cat nip for the majority of conservative and even moderate minded constituents.
GIULIANI has held his position as not being opposed to the ROE v. WADE decision for a long time, but now as his campaign begins to founder pre primary time he seems to be courting the neo-cons for their support. Would GIULIANI throw women’s rights under the bus the same way he threw his last family away for his current cellphone loving wife? You’re damn skippy he would!
The one thing I give RUDY credit for is the transparency of his political ambition. He won’t let ALPHONSE D’AMATO get within 100ft. of him and he won’t even take BERNARD KERIK’s phone calls. Ultimately I hope this blind blonde ambition is what derails this schmuck. When national voters see that he stands beside everything, therefore he stands for nothing, maybe the use of 9-11 as a scare tactic will be diminished. I understand that’s still a stretch since G DUBBZ invokes the same images when he’s busy undermining the national economy.
Is America ready for an unsexy president? I pray that all the voting vaginal devices just say no.
Philadelphia Needed To Win One… Badly.
October 1st, 2007
Bigger than the collapse of the Mets is the ascendancy of the Philadelphia Phillies. They have shown a resilience that their beleaguered city is desperate to witness. The horrible poverty that has devastated Camden New Jersey has bled (literally) into the city of brotherly love [ll].
In 2006 Philadelphia had the worst murder rate for any large city and that includes America’s most hardbody city, Detroit. This year has already been even worse in only the first nine months. This is why I am happy for the Philadelphia Phillies and I hope that the Eagles can get their shit together as well. If Philly has something to divert their attention from the encroaching poverty and loss of economic opportunities maybe the tide of violence can be stemmed. Philadelphia’s sports teams must do something positive before basketball season begins and the Sixers start sucking the life out of the city. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around it will be way too late.
In the meantime we need to examine how we can proactively (no P Diddy) control the violence in our neighborhoods. It used to be good enough to build a few more basketball courts and have a few more block parties but those times are past tense. People in the centre city need real solutions on rebuilding their communities. To me this means vocational training that deals with repairing the crumbling infrastructure within the centre city. Enough money has been spent on rebuilding Iraq and Afghanistan and Darfur and where the fuck ever. We need to rebuild America.
That’s the team I’m rooting for.
VH-1 Has Made B.E.T. Irrelevant…
September 30th, 2007
For one week a year VH-1 earnestly goes in and represents for Hip-Hop better than any media outlet evar. They make Black Entertainment Television’s programming look so damn amatuerish and irrelevant. I’m not saying that B.E.T. should be the network that exclusively broadcasts Hip-Hop related content, but B.E.T. shouldn’t get outclassed to the level that VH-1 does it to them.
This year is unfortunately no different for Whack Entertainment Television as VH-1 gears up for their annual broadcast of the Hip-Hop Honors Awards. I could prah’lee go in on why this show needs a shapeup as well, but for what it represents it is still the most important block of programming on television. VH-1 takes over the game this week though by rolling out a string of reality shows and documentaries focusing on Hip-Hop’s past, present and future.
If you work at Whack Entertainment Television and you haven’t given your resume yet to to Viacom’s VH-1 human resource department you better brush up on your gospel music because that is the only thing y’all will be broadcasting come next year. That and videos of ‘Chocolate Rain’ by TAY ZONDAY. B.E.T. please kill yourself.
‘BRIDGING THE GAP’
Ep.1 featuring QUEEN LATIFAH & EVE
Ep.2 featuring SNOOP DOGG & THE GAME
Monday October 1st 11pm
‘Bridging The Gap’ documents what happens when two established artists come together to explore their shared musical passions. In each half-hour episode, two artists who share a mutual admiration and respect for the other will share a day, discussing their lives while creating a new track produced by one of today’s hottest producers. Queen Latifah and Eve are featured in the premiere, while The Game and Snoop Dogg collaborate in the second episode at 11:30pm
Editor’s note: The first episode sounds like some feel good shit for the ladies. Let’s see if Latifah advises Eve on how to get it done in Tinseltown. Speaking of Hollywood Snoop and Gayme are some of Hollyhood’s best cRap-tors. They need someone to teach them how to stay out of prison.
‘VH1 ROCK DOCS: FADE TO BLACK’
Wednesday October 3rd, 8:30pm
Shawn Carter (Jay-Z) has been one of the most influential figures in black American music since the mid-nineties. “Fade To Black” reveals the multiple Grammy Award winning artist as never before, from his background and rise to fame to the recording of his last album. The film chronicles his legendary concert at Madison Square Garden in November 2003 that featured guest performances by Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliott, R. Kelly, Foxy Brown, Pharrell, and Questlove and The Illadelphonics along with appearances by hip hop icons Damon Dash, Rick Rubin, Slick Rick, P. Diddy and many others. Viewers get the rare glimpse into Jay-Z’s creative process as he searches for inspiration, poetry, and perfection in his songs. Narrated by Jay-Z himself, his account of the night takes on reflections of his entire musical career and his journey that led to this one astounding, fabled evening–rightfully called “Fade To Black.”
Editor’s note: The JiggaMan hype machine is gearing up. Yawwwwwn.
‘CLASSIC ALBUMS: JAY-Z – REASONABLE DOUBT’
Wednesday October 3rd, 11pm
VH1’s latest addition to the “Classic Albums” franchise takes us back through the whole creative process behind Jay-Z’s stunning first release “Reasonable Doubt.” Initially as a performer racking up an incredibly successful string of hit singles and albums and later as an executive, having taken on the presidency of Def Jam Records in 2004. “Reasonable Doubt” is still considered by many to be his finest achievement. A much harder hitting and edgy record than his later more polished and pop orientated releases, it announced to the world that a new rap star had arrived.
Editor’s note: ‘Reasonable Doubt’ is a great album as a piece of entertainment, but when media outlets continue to tout this album as a biblical account of his personal life it only serves to trivialize and further disenfranchise the families who were actually decimated from substance abuse. One day the people inside of the ghetto will file class action lawsuits against all the rappers who claim to have been former drug dealers. Until them I suppose I will have to suffer the veracity of this hustler’s homage.
‘VH1 HIP HOP HONORS’
Monday October 8th, 10pm
Once again, VH-1 honors the hip hop pioneers and legends that have made significant contributions to all aspects of pop culture with the fourth annual ‘VH-1 Hip Hop Honors’. Hosted by Tracy Morgan, this year’s honorees include A Tribe Called Quest, Snoop Dogg, WHODINI, Missy Elliott, the film Wild Style and Teddy Riley and Andre Harrell for New Jack Swing. The music and influence of each of the honorees will be recognized through performances by classic artists in collaboration with today’s hottest new talent. The honorees are set to take the stage and showcase their legendary talent, along with Ciara, Eve, Pharrell Williams, T.I., Timbaland, Bow Wow, Busta Rhymes, Common, T-Pain, Keyshia Cole, Nick Cannon, Nelly Furtado, Ne-Yo, KRS-One, Jermaine Dupri, Grandmaster Caz, Nelly, Mos Def, Kool Moe Dee, Grand Wizzard Theodore and The Chief Rocker Busy Bee as well as appearances by Chris Rock, Harvey Keitel, LL Cool J, Salt -N- Pepa, Kerry Washington and Diddy.
Editor’s note: The iNternets Celebrities are trying to score some red carpet access to this event. Stay tuned for more info.
BIONIC SYNERGY IN ADVERTISING…
September 30th, 2007
I DVR’d the premiere episode of the new ‘Bionic Woman’ action drama television show. It’s pretty dope too, but considering it’s produced by the folks that make ‘Battlestar Galactica’ I don’t consider that a stretch. ‘Bionic Woman’ even has some of the cast members from the Galactica series namely the chick that plays Starbuck Kara Thrace. All of that is well and good, but during the commercial break of ‘Bionic Woman’ I saw an interesting commercial.
Nissan is going in hard with NBC Universal to push up the sales of it’s newest SUV called the Rogue. When I watched ‘Heroes’ the other evening I noticed a few scenes were the car was shot as the centerpiece of the scene and the characters were placed awkwardly beside it. During the ‘Bionic Woman’ telecast NBC advertised a promotion to give several of the vehicles away after they had been signed by the creator of the ‘Heroes’ series, TIM KRING.
All of this to say that advertisers are scrambling to have their products placed now that viewers are no longer watching their expensively produced commercials. The same money that was being spent to sponsor network programming is now being used to underwrite and produce specific shows. TiVo means never having to watch a commercial again, or so I thought. Now the programming itself has become the commercial.