Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

The 2006 B.E.T. Awards… WHO THE FUCK CARES?!?

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006

hudlin

They need to start broadcasting this awards show on June 19th because I have never seen Black people come together like they do for this moment. Meanwhile, back in the ‘hood, little boys can’t read. The bank won’t give me a loan to buy the property that I rent while people from all over the place are moving into my neighborhood. A new study finds that at least I can hear better than my new neighbors. And I am telling you that dude called me a nigger in his mind.

Awwww fuck it, SHONQUAYSHAH pass the remote and fix the upside down coat hanger in the television, we gon’ watch us some BeYONCE. In the last five years can you imagine the number of jig children that have been named BeYONCE, ALIZE and CRISTAL? If you’re Black and you read this blog I have one bit of advice for you. Get a jump on the rest of your family and kill yourself now. We are barreling out of control on a journey to hell in a handbasket. By the by, have you seen those new Louis Vuitton ads featuring PHARRELL?

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Social Upheaval, Sports are Gay | 24 Comments »

I’m Still Standing… (nullus, of course)

Saturday, June 24th, 2006

billy

This was a rough week for Team DALLAS Inc. I didn’t get any sweet CHOCOLATE SNOWFLAKE poon because I picked up a wretch of a flu bug with a nasty phlegm cough. I suppose I could have gotten some brain, but I haven’t showered all week either.

The Dallass Mavericks played like a bunch of humps and were swept out of the NBA Finals by a dude that wears ‘leggings’!?!

Super producer DALLAS AUSTIN was pinched by the jake in Dubai while trying to transport contraband into the country. Dude was on his way to a NAOMI CAMPBELL party so you know there was already going to be a ton of candy in the building, ifyouknowhatimsayin. I just hope DALLAS AUSTIN wasn’t the connect that everybody was waiting on because that will fuck up a party with the quickness when you find out that the party favors are in the hands of the narcotics policia.

If DALLAS AUSTIN were a fan of the internets he would have peeped ROBBIE‘s site called ‘A Salute To Weed Carriers’ and he would have been reminded that he used to carry for a one JERMAINE DUPRI. Now that DALLAS AUSTIN is a big time music something or the other he should have people carrying his bags(no b.b.). There has got to be another Young Joc or Da Brat wannabe with all the jigs that live in the Atlanta area. Hell, there are still two members of T.L.C. still alive. I’m sure that T-Boz could use the money for Enfamil or hair dye.

So hopefully DALLAS AUSTIN won’t be on lock down for too long, but if he ends up in some new millenium Papillion type shit I hope he has an internets hookup. This way he’ll get to catch up on some required reading like the ‘2006 1st Annual Weed Carriers Awards‘.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, Jig Lit Review, Sports are Gay | 2 Comments »

I Heart The Internets…

Friday, June 23rd, 2006

I have amassed over three thousand images from my own photos and random websites and most sit inside my photo gallery stash until I can figure out where to tag them. If any of these pics tickle your fancy (no b.b.) clip them for yourself and use them as you wish. Just remember to give credit to the universe for bringing us all together.

Posted in BeYONCE Factor, Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Lust = Love, Separated @ Birth, Social Upheaval, Sports are Gay | 3 Comments »

FUTEBOL = Still So Teh Ghey

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006

teh ghey

How boring is this World Cup shit?!? I thought that maybe if I bought myself a pair of Mexico themed sneakers I might be able to get into the whole thing, but… meh. The field is too large and they don’t score enough points and then after running around for three hours when someone finally kicks the ball into the net you are rewarded with only ONE point.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? At least American football gives you three point for kicking the ball into the netting. So what if the rest of the world likes soccer. The United States spends half of the global money that goes to researching and developing new military armaments. We don’t need your stinking joga bonito.

If FIFA really wants to give soccer some appeal to the American consumer they should get up on this game of kick balls that these Chinese monks play. After a few hours of this [NSFW] just you try to sock her.

Posted in Sports are Gay | 6 Comments »

BROKEBACK MEADOWLANDS???

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006

pack in the sack

Years ago when I did a brief stint as a homeless man I was given some sage advice from one of the veteran residents of the Atlantic Avenue armory. He told me to never trust a Black man that has no facial hair. I came to understand what he was trying to say to me as the years have gone by. I have even cut off my hair at times to go corporate chump when I needed to, but since that time I have always kept a moustache.

stray hand

Beloved New York Giants football player MICHAEL STRAHAN is going through one of the most bitter public divorce trials that I can remember seeing. His former wife has accused him of varying degrees of infidelity from keeping a mistress on the side to now, engaging in a relationship with celebrity doctor, IAN SMITH.

dr. smith

Two Black men without moustaches?!? Where there’s smoke there’s always fire. You could have expected MICHAEL to be on the the D.L. anyhoo since his onfield position is defensive END.

Posted in Ghetto Celebs, Lust = Love, Sports are Gay | 4 Comments »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »