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Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

HURRICANE STARRKEYSHA Didn’t Care About Black People

Monday, February 20th, 2006

Hurricane STARRKEYSHA and the great virgin mother have something in common.

With Mardi Gras only a week away local Louisiana hotels have been steadily evicting FEMA ~~refugees~~ evacuees. STARRKEYSHA has created another level of homelessness that I was unaware of previously. Can you even imagine being so poor that no state will accept you? Where the hell are these people going to go?

Hurricane STARRKEYSHA didn’t just raise the water table, she raised questions about where we stand as a moral and humanitarian nation. It seems pretty crazy to run all around the planet spending billions to install democracy while right in our backyard we let people’s carcasses rot in a toxic marsh because “there isn’t any overtime pay left.”

A few days after the storm’s impact had become crystal clear MASTER P produced this video reel to hand mock praise to then FEMA Director MIKE BROWN. After reviewing the video that was to be posted on this site, MASTER P had a change of heart because he wasn’t confident that the viewers would understand that the meaning of the clip was to highlight the inaction and insincerity of the Administration. Please try to view the following clip through that lens.

I am climbing off the soapbox now because I am sure that you have read and heard enough of this story. But before I go let me give you some more info…

Brooklyn’s newest jig politico KEVIN POWELL can be called a bunch of derisive things and we may use this website to call him out, but his record up to this point speaks for itself. He has spearheaded several sucessful community based fundraisers and he was one of the first grassroots organizers for the Katrina relief efforts.

To that effect KEVIN is the driving force behind the Katrina On The Ground program. KOTG is looking for college kids to volunteer their time during spring break to visit the affected areas and assist with the rebuilding and cleanup efforts. The 3 point program for KOTG is 1) physical and emotional rebuilding of communities and lives; (2) legal and civil rights issues; and (3) financial literacy and empowerment for the affected citizens and region.

This sounds like something that I would want on my resume when I was 19 or 20. Plus I will give you the old man scoop any event KEVIN POWELL puts his name on… he’s got ho’s!

I promise you that you will be swimming in sweet young chocolate poonahnee during spring break, but not the kind that you can’t have because those sluts are chasing down the dude with the drop top BMW. Nope, you will be surrounded by young ladies that think you are a stud because you helped repair a studwall to a house that was destroyed.

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Social Upheaval | 4 Comments »

WHEEEEEEEEEE!!! The Internets is Fun…

Sunday, February 19th, 2006

Well here I go internets fam, balls to the walls, pedal to the metal, sitting in my parents basement with no clothes on except for a pair of wool blend socks, sipping Crystal Light and Level vodka from my special cup with the crazy straw, listening to the J. DILLA tribute on the local college radio station.

Damn that’s boys good!

How happy were you when you found out that the BOONDOCKS would make it to a second season? The BOONDOCKS is almost too real for television which makes me wonder out loud why the best programming nowadays in terms of political and moral satire is always a cartoon. South Park, The Simpsons and Family Guy go to places that a network would never permit live actors to touch. The MLK Jr. episode was part sage, part genius, all hilarity. Some priveleged haters must have pulled SHARPTON’s coattails in order for him to fuss about the show, but I guess he fell back when he found out that everyone in his office watches Adult Swim at 11pm on Sundays.

Volkswagen has a brand new ad company and as usual, when people want to seem hip they stripmine urban culture for slang and idioms. VW use of phrases like “in da haus” and “straight outta da Autobahn” will prah’lee confuse consumers into thinking that the jigs from ‘Pimp My Ride’ have taken over the manufacturing. All these jig words can’t be a help for the other focus that VW is trying to achieve. A reconnection to their O.G. German roots. Anyhoo, this sounds like some phony hinterland Nazi posturing to me since the majority of VW’s are made in Mexico. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

You guys read my political rants about the Administration and you ask me what I think we should do. Here’s what I think we should do. 2008 isn’t that far off and at least he’s been The Man with The Plan.

Despite being the most over-exposed entertainer since DIANA ROSS there has been no sighting yet of pictures featuring an overexposed BeYONCE KNOWLES. You know she has got to have some nude pics out there somewhere. The KNOWLES family must have connections with the National Security Administration in order to keep those pics under wraps. You do know that the dude that purportedly impregnated BeYONCE back in her H-Town high school days has mysteriously disppeared?!? I hope that he wasn’t in or around upstate New York because he may have fallen victim to the legendary woodland beast – ASSQUATCH.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, Social Upheaval, When I Reminisce... | 3 Comments »

THINKING OF A MASTER PLAN…

Sunday, February 19th, 2006

“Nigga gotta find a way, find a way to make some money” – 213

I have had designs on putting out a book detailing my youth in and around NYC, but there is a crush of writers turning out the worst bullshiite you could ever read. I don’t want to be lumped in together with these miscreants. How the fuck can you be functionally illiterate and still publish a book?!?

I can’t hate on these folks too hard because they have found a way to activate people into the habit of reading. We are living in a post-literate civilization. People receive information from television and radio well before they will pick up a newspaper. So for some folks to be able to sell books to convicts and the jigs on 125th Street is no small feat.

So where do I start? Do people want to read about NYC in the 1980’s? Everybody is pushing the story of crack cocaine, but no one is telling the truth about the destruction left in the wake of the epidemic. That was Black America’s tsunami 20years before Hurricane Katrina touched the coastline. Maybe I should tell my truths about selling drugs and taking drugs. There is an intimate connection between the users and the sellers and more often than not the roles get reversed.

I really want to put my story out about my asshole years and all the women I abused during the time that I hated myself. I had a contentious relationship with my family that almost resulted in my parents’ divorce and was probably responsible for the disconnect that I have with my younger brother.

So much shit to write about…

Damn, thanks for letting me think out loud to your eyes. I have to give thanks to all the good folks that ride with this site no matter what I put on these pages. Y’all will be the folks that get a free copy of the first hardcover edition. Now I am going back to bed and what I was enjoying before I decided to get up to jot down my thoughts.