Archive for the ‘T.O.N.Y.’ Category

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SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Thursday, March 8th, 2007

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It’s too bad that Marvel Comics had to kill off one of their iconic characters just because the ‘Ghost Rider’ film was a veritable shit sandwich. Blame the movie exec who greenlighted that film without a song from Method Man on the movie’s soundtrack. The only people that don’t associate Meth with the name Johhny Blaze are the people that haven’t left their parent’s basements in twenty years.

I love my X-Men so I try to name my sneakers after those characters when at all possible. These limited edition premium leather Dunks remind me of the most powerful X-Man character second to only Jean Grey. Storm could control the weather on an entire continent if she let herself loose, but like most Black folks in the real world she was the conscience of control. Storm was that bitch for sure and she was even hardbody enough to stand up to Wolverine.

Check these joints out. Purple and powder blue contrast stitching. Candy paint patent leather. Velour ankle collar. Clear cupsole with the goddess image printed underneath. I might have to wear slacks and a white well-pressed button down with these joints.

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40 DAWG! You need to fucks with the Dr. Jays spot at Third Ave and 149th Street in the B.X. They sell all the exclusive shit in pro athlete sizes 14-18

Posted in Fashion Faux Pas, Sneaker Fiends United, T.O.N.Y., The Addict | 23 Comments »

Light A Ciggar For Jiggar My Niggar…

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

jigger cigger

By now you all know that the Roc-A-Wear brand clothing line was sold to a conglomerate for over two hundred million. Now I know in my mind of minds that JAY-Z never “owned” the brand, but I am sure that he caught some coin from that sale and stands to reap some more Benjy’s and benefits depending on how long the brand remains viable.

That shit always looked like clown shoes to me and the brand never had the depth of design that Phat Farm had. All they have are hoodies and sweatpants. At least Phat Farm and Sean John expanded their lines with adult items like sweaters and button-up shirts. Everything that I found in Roc-A-Wear that was my size made me feel retarded. Akademics and Ecko are smarter and better designed urban brands, but Roc-A-Wear has one thing none of them can have – the MICHAEL JORDAN of rap recording.

Roc on SHAWN CARTER, roc on…

fox

Did you hear that FOX BOOGIE has been banned from Junior’s Restaurant in Brooklyn?

Damn FOXY!? This chick needs an image consultant ASAP. She needs someone to take her azz down to the shelter on Nevins Street and have FOXY work a few days on the soup kitchen line, then take her azz to the free clinic on Flatbush Avenue and have FOXY pass out condoms or some shit. You know, give back to the community. If someone who has love for this chick doesn’t intervene the next thing you know will be “FOXY gets barred from KUM KAU”. That shit would be fucked the fuck up.

Too bad Pretty Boy can’t even sneak her a cheesecake.

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Your boy BARACK “No really, I’m Black” OBAMA is getting tons of press lately as he campaigns hard for the Democratic nod in 2008. He came to NYC and was feted by the niggerati glitterati from the music and entertainment business.

I’m not part of the bandwagon that cares about BARACK’s questionable Blackness. Any honest bi-racial person that has felt the sting of racism will tell you that when the rubber hits the road being Not White = Being Black. I’m a part of the minority that asks the most pertinent question… Who the fuck is BARACK OBAMA?!? This dude is like the cat that you never heard of before, but now he is gonna run for the president? What is his Senatorial record? Who are the main contributors to his campaign? He has to be put through the same hoops that we put a BOB DOLE, or a WALTER MONDALE, or a MICHAEL DUKAKIS into and when we see what comes out then we can decide if he is really the golden child.

Or the golden brown child, since he is a nigger.

Posted in Black Bullshit, cRap Fantasy League, Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, T.O.N.Y., Wig Owners | 25 Comments »

The (white) Rapper Show = Weed Carrying 101

Wednesday, February 28th, 2007

ice ice baby

If there was anything that I gleaned from the ego trip (white) Rapper Show is that MC Serch can still bring fame to a bag holder without getting their ass kicked by Hammer’s goons.

I mean, what do you think the future holds for Shamrock or John Brown? They will be rap music footnotes as soon as the second season begins to air. Anybody remember Nikki ‘Hoopz’ Alexander? Exactly. The best chance for one of these rappers to keep his names on people’s lips will be for them to carry a bag and keep smiling. Busta Rhymes could use a new chauffeur so that’s something to think about also.

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As A Salute To Weed Carrier’s NYC field correspondent I took the assignment of attending the (white) Rapper Show wrap up party in order to celebrate the arrival of celebrity bag holding with a bang(no Tony Yayo). The dude that carried Serch’s sacks the best would be awarded with something even more valauble than a recording contract. He was going home with $100,000 dollars. That’s a whole lot of ounces of that piffy piff and you know what I’m saying. The crowd that filled the club was lively and after the broadcast of the final episode of the television show we were all hyped up for the real show.

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Persia, who was one of the most popular rappers on the show cleaned herself up and brought her bawdy ass Big Momma Cass routine to the stage. Her flow was competent and had improved somewhat since we last saw her on the show which was filmed some six months ago. I will admit that I found her attractive in a big girl kind of way. She had on some high heels that matched her belt and for a moment I considered bending her over backstage along with about three hundred or so of the other internets geeks that had climbed up from their mother’s basements to come to the show. The only thing that separated me from the geeks were the ten or twenty rounds of free Bacardi that threw back thanks to the crew from OnSmash and G.O.O.D. Records (yeah, them dudes).

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John Brown, the runner up for the contest, was the show’s highlight but I was too tired and it was after midnight so I didn’t stay to watch him perform. Instead I caught the ego trip collective and MC Serch spit some freestyles for the crowd. Serch talked shit about people in the crowd and the clothes he had on. When he spit that shit about the Decepticons and his Timberlands the place went bananas. Well, at least one dude in there went bananas, but he was a big dude. Serch can do his freestyle thing. The ego trip collective… Not so much. Fun was still had by all. The (white) Rapper Show is a movement that you had better get in tuned with. Season 2 is on it’s way. Believe that!

Posted in cRap Fantasy League, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Straight Laced, T.O.N.Y., The Guest Room | 10 Comments »

The (white) Rapper Show: It’s A (white) Wrap!

Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

ice ice baby

The ghetto revival was in full effect in Brooklyn as ego trip magazine and Mass Appeal celebrated the wrap up to season one of their runaway hit television show ‘ego trip’s (white) Rapper Show’. It was a star studded event that brought out some of the new ghetto’s great luminaries. Being an Internets Celebrity I thought I should join the fray of C-listers and general Hip-Hopdom that has come to embrace the (white) Rapper Show for the entertainment that it brings as it’s basic mission.

From the outset it looked like it would be a promising night as the line to enter the club formed early.

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I didn’t have a ticket to the sold out event, but I am a gotdamned Internets Celebrity and that has to be worth something. As the intensity began to build up outside I knew I was going to need the hook up. Good thing my folks from OnSmash dot com rolled up on this piece. They had the carte blanche V.I.P. guest list open bar status and they put me down. Good looks to HOFFA and PLAIN PAT. FERRIS BUELLER?!? BUELLER? BUELLER? Where you at pimpin’?

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I chopped it up for a few with G-Child. She comes from Allentown, Pennsylvania. If you know me when I go drinking then you know that I had to use all my mental power to restrain myself from singing that BILLY JOEL song ‘Allentown’. PERSIA was in the building and she was bringing sassy and sexy back for all the thick chicks. I give her points for smelling so good.

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As always, Hip-Hop was for sale too. The Step-Off can was a big attraction during the pre-show.

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Y’all know him as 40 DAWG. His streets name is DIESEL. 40 rolled through with LORD SEAR. Blogging groupies are coming out of the woodwork so I better get my azz to the gym so I don’t have this wild gut like BYRON CRAWFORD. She let me smell her ear too because I told her that earwax is gonna be the sexy new accessory for the 2007.

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Hip-Hop documentarian HENRY CHALFANT came through as well as DP Dot Com arch-enemy TOM BREIHAN (pronounced BRY-HAN). We spent nearly an hour debating whether TUPAC was really dead and whether or not he actually wrote all of his rhymes. Let’s just say that we finally agreed to disagree. The extra cheese smile on BREIHAN’s grill is because he and his brother JIM had on crispier Baltimore Orioles fitted hats than your favorite blogger did. Posers.

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PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN! The God LORD JAMAR.

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For more pics of the party and the performers follow this link to A SALUTE TO WEED CARRIERS.

Posted in cRap Fantasy League, Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, T.O.N.Y. | 11 Comments »

The (white) Rapper Show

Monday, February 26th, 2007

white rapper

The revolution will be podcast into your iPhone. Believe that!

Word to Shamrock I am going to get the cRapper Fantasy League poppin’ off in a minute. During my self-imposed media blackout this past weekend I fell and tripped on my television’s remote control. While I lay inert on my living room carpet the t.v. played several episodes of the VH-1 megahit ‘ego trip’s (white) Rapper Show’. I hadn’t watched the show at all because I was sure that VH-1 wasn’t capable of broadcasting anything that I would find compelling, especially when it regards Hip-Hop culture.

I was pleasantly surprised watching the blood diamonds documentary that VH-1 aired last week and I will admit to being similarly engaged watching the reruns of the (white) Rapper Show. I was annoyed at first by the show’s title because I had thought that the gimmickry of a white rap artist was now void because of Eminem’s accomplishments inside of Hip-Hop. You would have to be out of your mind not to include him on your list of top 10 G.O.A.T., maybe even top five depending on how his career is completed. The truth about the people featured on this show is that they all loved Hip-Hop and would do their thing whether or not cameras were around. The fact that they were white has little relevance. It just doesn’t. My favorite character on the show is ultimately the winner it seems. There is a wrap party tonight for the show in Brooklyn and JOHN BROWN is the featured performer.

I felt dude (no DeadLee) from the gate because he had the hardbody emcee name. There is no story in American history more gully than that of JOHN BROWN, except for your boy DENMARK VESEY. I can’t wait for a rapper to choose that as a nickname instead of all of these Italian mafia characters or even Fifty Cent. DENMARK VESEY had them plantation niggas shook. So this kid JOHN BROWN seemed gimmicky at first but the truth that he loved Hip-Hop came through. He thought about his career from the artistic and business standpoint. This is something all artists need to do now. Your talent alone doesn’t guarantee that your music will be heard. You have to have desire and some business savvy to separate yourself from the pack.

I don’t know where this dude will be in five years but I welcome someone that has love for Hip-Hop and wants to learn the craft to be a better artist first and foremost. He’s already achieved a level of fame that most underground artists dream of. Even those kids that won the first VH-1 freestyle battle have been forgotten by now. Maybe one day there will be as many white rappers inside of Hip-Hop as there are Black quarterbacks inside of the NFL. Then it will only be a question of heart, desire and skills.

UPDATE: WTF?!?! Shamrock won! Wait until you see my pictures from the wrap up party. DALLAS PENN carries weed for OnSmash dot com. DALLAS PENN takes pictures with G-Child and Persia. DALLAS PENN talks about rap music with arch-nemesis (well not really but blogger beef = + traffic rankings) Village Voice blogger TOM BREIHAN. Peace to 40 Diesel who was in the building with Lord Sear.

Stay tuned true believers

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, T.O.N.Y. | 26 Comments »

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