dallaspenn.com

It was your typical Friday night under the big lights of NYC. I left the office after 8pm to drive into the city for my homey CED G’s birthday party. CEDRIC is one of the cats from Brooklyn Tech that never shitted on me after I was expelled. As a matter of fact, he made all the other cats on the football squad continue to show me love. Nullus, of course. Why did CED pick out the swankiest lounge in the city to hold his soiree? This spot called 230 Fifth Avenue is the new gem in midtown. During the summertime they kill with their rooftop bar and panaramic views of Manhattan. My only problem is that they sell Belvy’s and tonic for $14. CED has a masters degree in economics, I have a G.E.D. Nexttime I fucks with CED I’m bringing my flask.

C.S. saved me from blowing my light bill up in that piece by texting me and asking me out to the movies. I was down like JAMES BROWN to see this film called the Hip-Hop Project. It was exec-produced by DANA ‘Queen Latifah’ OWENS and BRUCE ‘2 Hard 2 Die’ WILLIS. I think it’s about Hip-Hop as an empowering force for education and societal change. They took that shit out of theatres after one week. Our other options were ‘Hot Fuzz’ and ’28 Weeks Later’. I didn’t think we would fuck with ‘Grindhouse’ because the shit started at midnight and I knew it was a beast at three plus hours long. So C.S. and I said eff it to a movie and we went into Koreatown for some barbecue and dim sum. After a long and relaxing meal on East 32nd Street we saw that we were in time for catching the midnight show. Maybe it was the fried green tea ice cream, but I felt like I had the energy to rock out.

Let me just say this… ‘Grindhouse’ is the most entertaining movie that I have seen this year. Including ‘Spider-Man 3’ and ‘300’ by FRANK MILLER. It’s the reason I used to go to the Duece when I was 12 and 13 years old to peep a kung fu flick. It’s pure cinematic absurdist adventurist escapism. QUENTIN TARANTINO and ROBERT RODRIQUEZ win for the sheer fact that they were paid handsomely to produce what looked like the most fun evar. Actually, RODRIQUEZ had so much fun with the lead actress in his film that his marriage of sixteen years is finito. Even Mexicans can go Hollywood.

The two features ‘Planet Terror’ and ‘Deathproof’ sandwich a bevy of faux B-Movie previews. The directors have the cult aspect of these films down pat and their styles and aesthetics are so razor sharp that you get to see how good a B-movie can be when it is acted and directed with A talent. I promise that you will love every minute. There’s tons of hot ass chicks along with cars, zombies, guns, tits, blood, gore, sex, murder and of course, mayhem. F.Y.I. ROSARIO DAWSON doesn’t get naked though and still ‘Grindhouse’ might end up being this summer’s number one NetFlix choice. But for the price of a ticket nowadays it’s really the best bargain in movie-going without ‘plexing.