Archive for the ‘Hollyweird’ Category

DP @ The Newark Black Film Festival

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

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I love movies and I really love FREE movies.

The Newark Black Film Festival is the country’s oldest film festival. 35 years old and focused on highlighting the stories of African American filmmakers, the NBFF has a diverse program scheduled for the 2009 season from feature films to documentaries. The NBFF Paul Robeson awards committee selected ‘Bodega’ last year for one of its judges choice awards so these folks must know a thing or two about good flicks.

Tonight the Newark museum will be hosting the opening night of the NBFF featuring a HUDLIN brothers compilation film called ‘Cosmic Slop’. This is the title for one of my all-time favorite Funkadelic jams. I’m excited to see what fanboys like the HUDLINs have crafted under this name. The screening begins at 7pm in the museum auditorium and is FREE to all attendees. WARRINGTON HUDLIN does the Q & A thing after the screening.

Here’s the Newark Black Film Festival schedule for the rest of the summer.

The Association’s Jackson 5

Monday, June 15th, 2009

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Two months ago I would have totally discounted the role of the head coach in the outcome of NBA contests. The games were a stream of virtuoso offensive stars with a final two minute procession of free throws and time outs.

College baasketball is where the coaches reign supreme. Or so I thought. If Ilearned anything from these playoffs it was that the coach in the Association was the new sixth man. How else did Orlando engineer their visit to the league finals if not for their coach STAN VAN GUNDY who was obviously separated at birth from pr0n icon RON JEREMY?

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As much as we will discuss the re-ascendancy of KOBE BRYANT sans SHAQUILLE O’NEAL we should respect the genius of PHIL JACKSON to secure his tenth title with what is arguably the worst squad he ever coached. The aggregate talent of this Lakers team is lower than any BULLS ‘chip squad and is less than any of the previous three Lakers teams that went all the way.

Its not like KOBE BRYANT, the Finals MVP, was even the best player throughout these playoffs, because he wasn’t. KOBE was undoubtedly a serviceable superstar, but have any of you fans studies his line from this Game 5? Under 50% shooting for 30 points, 6 boards and 5 assists. Those are JORDAN-esque numbers if we are talking about EDDIE JORDAN or maybe even JORDAN FARMAR but definitely not MICHAEL JEFFREY JORDAN. Let’s face it, KOBE’s got the grimace down pat, just not the game.

Will PHIL JACKSON return to the Lakers to set up a title defense? PrA’li. Who do you think will be able to outcoach JACKSON and simultaneously outplay the Lakers? Plus, there are some players on the Lakers team who I think will grow their skillsets over the summer. TREVOR ARIZA is one of them. Is it because he is my Twitter friend that I think @TAriza is going to be the shiz? Chea. In the meantime and in between time I will cash in on this KOBE hype though. I’m gonna put my KOBE 8’s laserprint Huarache 2K4’s up on eBay.

Holla if you fux with a size 12.

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I Needed These A Long Time Ago…

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

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In a galaxy far, far away…

Some savvy internets marketer who knows I dig hell’a hard on Star Wars sent me an e-mail on behalf of this company making customized USB flash drives. Woo hoo! Maybe I should buy some 8-track cassettes while I am at it?

Just last week there was an internets convention here in NYC and they were giving away 4GB flash drives. If I were enterprising and not just into free shit I could have corralled as many free flash drives as possible and then gone over to Target to buy some Star Wars action figures and packaged the two together.

I’m sure that would be just as valuable as this twenty dollar 1GB flash drive these dudes as shilling. Okay, I give them props for setting up the Imperial ceremony scene even though it was stormtroopers guarding Darth Vader and Lord Sidious and not clone troopers. Ah well, I imagine there are still some fanboys with a few coins to drop on these, and look, with every purchase free USB snuggly.

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Mtv = Dead 2 Me…

Monday, June 1st, 2009

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When was the last time that Mtv really mattered? For me it would have been the Jackass years. That was the last time that I watched Mtv with regularity. That was the last time I think that network was truly, ughh, relevant. Since that time I feel like Vh-1 has come through with the edgier programming that wasn’t so artificially funny. Let’s not get it twisted either because Vh-1 is definitely superficial, just not artificial and there is an important difference.

The fart jokes and college humor that made Beavis and Butthead a staple of television entertainment have been replaced by cheap staged stunts and shit that old people would find funny. If old people like your joke then 9 out of 10 times your joke sucks. Not to disparage old people and the people that think like old people, but we are not you. We used to be down with you but we stayed youthful and humorous. You got old and boring. This is why Adult Swim pwns empty-V all day every day.

Mtv was jammed up a few years back when confronted with the fact that they were over twenty five years old. While that doesn’t really matter to me since I am long since past that mark it matters to those that use superficial timeline constructs. Vh-1 has no such problem. Their demographic was always post-teenage anyhoo. It was Mtv that made the mistake of marketing itself to 16yr olds instead of realizing that market was fickle in the first place.

The last thing a 16yr old wants to do is some shit that OTHER 16yr olds are doing. Mtv could have let one of their sub-channels be the place where the JONAS brothers had the unplugged concerts instead of the main channel which needed to stay in the adult themed realm of music entertainment. I’m sure that Mtv execs had been shitting their pants ever since rap music became a pop music juggernaut. There weren’t enough videos from emasculated rap acts like the Black Eyed Peas to fill up their programming slots.

Now that rappers are wearing their younger sisters stretch jeans maybe they can get some spins on the video channel if only the video channel still played videos. I’d love to be a consultant to the Music TeleVision network. Lord knows they don’t have anyone over there that is willing to kick open the doors to the executive suites and beat the crap out of the current programmers. Everyone is simply content to keep their mouths shut and just collect their checks. Pretty soon the bottom will fall out of that game and then you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone.

Big Girls Don’t Cry…

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

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If you are a Cleveland fan you can cry.

I’m predicting right now that LeBRON and the Cavaliers will be on vacay by tomorrow.

The dream matchup between KOBE and LeBRON will have to wait another season.

Nike senses the forecast too so they are rolling out all their Most Valuable Puppet videos while they can still be relevant.