Archive for the ‘Social Upheaval’ Category

The BeYONCE Factor In Real Life

Thursday, June 15th, 2006

holler

Let’s face it party people, BeYONCE KNOWLES is one of those rare once in a millenium occurences. She is like the unicorn and the tooth fairy combined. She can’t be duplicated, replicated or cloned. But despite all of that some of you will try.

BeYONCE’s greatest asset(pun wholly intended) is her ginormous boonkey. Even J.Ho had to bow down to the omnipotent azz that Mz.B owns. Is it any wonder that this summer’s most popular beach accesory after sunblock is a brand new out the box BeYONCE booty?

bootylift

bootylift

bootylift

All I have to say is “Stop the MADNESS!!!

The War On The Poor

Wednesday, June 14th, 2006

crillz

Do you understand that the ‘War on Drugs’ only targets the most vulnerable, defenseless people? How come we don’t prosecute the companies that manufacture the tiny plastic vials?

What would you use that vial for if you weren’t filling it with crack cocaine. There is nothing that you can store in a crack vial. It’s the equivalent of a water bottle for a mouse. At least you can use the tiny plastic ‘nickel bag’ ziploc bags to hold a spare button for your sweater, but the plastic red top vial has only one use – to transport illegal drugs.

We attempt to fight terrorism comprehensively by targeting the sources of funding that terror networks use. This makes sense because those monetary bases facilitate terrorism. The plastic crack vial facilitates drug trafficking and abuse. We should use our voices to bring these manufacturing criminals to justice instead of just focusing on the poor youth that are consumed by the illegal trade of narcotics.

crillz

Crushing On You…

Wednesday, June 14th, 2006

crush on you

Crushes make the world go round. They get you up in the morning and into the shower on time. You spend an extra minute with the loofa hitting up that azz crack until it shines. You wash behind your ears and brush your teeth extra careful. But what about a crush where the possibility of you seeing that person in person is somewhere in between zero and… negative zero?!?

In all honesty, those are my favorite crushes because I am never let down by my fantasy. The person that I am digging remains pristine and unflawed. Forever perfect. I am having a crush right now on an artist chick from Kenya (didn’t I tell y’all it was all about Kenyan broads this summer?!?). She was featured on my cousin Glamazon’s site just a few days ago. After I did the knowledge I realized that she was the chick that I have been waiting to meet for 36 years. She has this wicked playful sense of humor and she is smart as all get out. Her name is WANGECHI MUTU and you need to back the fuck up.

crush on you

WANGECHI was trained as a sculptor and schooled for anthropology, but her heart brought her to New York City to study fine art at Cooper Union. She graduated from Cooper and went to Yale to secure a Masters of Fine Art. Her work takes a serious and satirical look at the damage that Western idealogy has wrought upon the African continent’s cultural identity. She strikes back at the European image of beauty with her collages that resemble amputations, prosthetics, futuristic transplants and bionic body types in surreal and sometimes hallucinogenic settings.

crush on you

WANGECHI gets it all in the global sense. She sees that people are regarded much like disposable vessels to be stripped down and exploited and then discarded. WANGECHI searches through the cultural wasteland that has become modern day Africa and pulls the dismembered pieces together to form her own exquisite corpse.

crush on you

WANGECHI MUTU is the logical evolution of ROMARE BEARDEN. She has taken the art of collage making to a place that it hasn’t occupied. Just like ROMARE used his collages to describe the vibrance and humility of rural and urban Blacks. WANGECHI has crafted a beautiful mosaic of work that at once explains the frailty and the ferociousness of femininity.

harlem

I love her mind so much that I may have to introduce myself when I see her in Brooklyn this summer. Then again, I probably won’t because I don’t think I want to ruin this crush I’m having.

crush on you

MAXIMILLAN VEERS To NYC: ‘EFF YOUUUUUUU!’

Tuesday, June 13th, 2006

maximillan veers

More Star Wars references because I know that’s why you come here…

MICHAEL CHERTOFF Major General Maximillan Veers, the Director for Homeland Security, has tightened the pursestrings on the federal money that New York City hoped to receive to help us combat terrorism. NYC needs that money because we are in a war against terrorism, Darth Maul G DUBBZ said it and I believe it.

This unexpected dearth of federal funds puts NYC’s mayor MICHAEL BLOOMBERG in an interesting predicament. With capital construction projects already underway and other essential services like the Police, firemen and emergency responders already accounted for where will the money come from to buy new school books? That is surely the area that is most likely to be pinched first.

Education funding continues to be pared down until there are almost no monies to purchase critical supplies that school’s need. Rich parents that send their children to public schools will help supplement the schools when the need arises, but working and poor families children with be punished to repeat the lifestyles of their parents.

The struggle to secure a decent education in this city is the next battleground. Can you blame these wealthy parents from objecting to the influx of less well off students sharing space in the same facilities as their children.

GENERAL GRIEVOUS Is Back On The Block

Tuesday, June 13th, 2006

karl rove

The news has just come down that G.O.P.’s chief strategist won’t have to worry about washing KENNETH SKILLING’s underwear in prison. This means that KARL ROVE can focus on helping the incumbent Republican Senators and Congressmen retain their seats in the November mid-term elections.

So get ready for another three months of hearing these three words constantly…

Abortion!

Gays!!

GOD!!!