HURRICANE STARRKEYSHA Will Get You Laid

March 1st, 2006

'fugees

To all you fellas that read this webpage and still live in your momma’s basements… this one is or y’all…

KATRINA ON THE GROUND press conference
when: Friday March 3, 2006 from 1pm – 2pm
where: The Center for Constitutional Rights, 666 Broadway NYC, between Bond and Bleeker Streets, 7th Floor
who: KEVIN POWELL, MOS DEF, COUSIN JEFF JOHNSON, MONIFA BANDELE, RUKIA LUMUMBA

I spoke to you already about this program. This year for spring break instead of going to Daytona of Myrtle Beach or wherever the Negro nonsense will be taking place you should consider being part of this movement. It shows a tremendous amount of self-awareness on your part and I think it will be the good food that you need if you plan on being any kind of leader for your family and your community.

Volunteers will aid in the rebuilding of communities devastated by Hurricane Katrina. So far up to 1000 students from various colleges and universities, some as far as California, have dedicated their week of recreation to assist in the rebuilding effort
in the Gulf Region. With families being evicted from their homes, evicted from their hotels, cut-off from financial resources — America needs to continue to stand-up for the people who are slowly making their way back toward sustainability.

Beginning March 5, 2006, college students will converge in Selma, Alabama at the 21st Century Youth Leadership camp to focus on three major areas during this Spring Break initiative: 1) physical and emotional rebuilding of communities and lives; 2) legal and civil rights issues; and 3) financial literacy and empowerment for the affected citizens and region. Freedom Summer has now moved to Spring Break and these students are igniting a movement for a new today and tomorrow for those persons affected by the Hurricanes along with letting people know that they have a say in the reformation of their communities and their lives.

All that shit above is what you can tell your parents for them to give you some pocket scrilla. Trust me there is gonna be a gang of young Black chicks just waiting to give some action to you. Between KEVIN POWELL and MOS DEF you will have all those cool ass artsy chicks that blow weed (and otherthings, TRUST). You will have those pre-law school broads who are a bit repressed, but after a back massage… You will have those mulatto chicks whose parents were hippies. There is going to be a ton of young Black post teenage action and all you have to do is sign up.

Believe me about this the chicks that are going to spring break at Virginia Beach all have the clap. However, these activist slash community-minded chicks are good girls that come from two parent homes with furnished basements. It’s what I call the jackpot for wifey status broads. You don’t have to be all crazy either and shave off your moustache. These girls are cool with facial hair (read: blue collar aspirants). The honest to goodness truth is that I have always scraped after meeting a chick at one of these KEVIN POWELL events and since I have a girlfriend now I can’t go. That and the fact that an overweight 38yr. old trying to smash someone twenty years younger is way creepy.

DAVE CHAPPELLE IS STILL THE MAN! (ReMix)

March 1st, 2006

I'm really rich bitch!

Editor’s note: This remix post from the 2004 archives is the actual account of the DAVE CHAPPELLE Block Party from September 2004. JOJO McQUEEN and BILLY SUNDAY attended the event with a few hundred devoted fans of Hip-Hop. For one day from the afternoon into the evening there was no focus on rap beefs or million dollar jewelry. If you can imagine for one moment what the perfect concert might be you still would’nt come close to the line up that came to perform. For one moment in time BUSH Jr. wasn’t the president, crack cocaine had never destroyed our communities and the COSBY Show was still on NBC, Thursdays at 8pm. We should love Hip-Hop for what it can be when we try our best, and we should stop settling for the bullshit. More than ever before I respect DAVE CHAPPELLE’s gangsta.

But we already knew this fact, there is just no other way for me to lead this damn thing off. The DAVE CHAPPELLE Block Party on saturday was so historic and monumental an event that I almost cried.

KANYE WEST opened the show. FREEWAY and MOS DEF got down on the cut ‘Two Words’ and KANYE brought out the Central State Marching Band to help him with the track ‘Jesus Walks’. The show just got more fire from there on.

DEAD PREZ was up next and they had us all raising our right fists for the R.B.G.’s. Everybody was really “wilding” by the time they closed their set with the song ‘Hip-Hop’. The crowd was going wild bananas for the DJ sets between acts that featured classic Brooknam artists like B.I.G., GANGSTARR and even JEHRU the DAMAJA(who came thru and chilled with the crowd).

After the D.P.’z we got a nice little set from ERYKAH BADU. She is looking beautiful and back to her 100lb self. She and COMMON did their hit together, ‘Love of My Life’. There was so much love on the block right then I wanted to tongue kiss someone. Too bad I was surrounded by sisters that hate me, well, not all of them hated me, but the ones that didn’t had to play along with the haters. DAMN! ERYKAH caught us all by surprise when she jumped into the crowd to body surf. She still crazy.

JILL SCOTT came onstage next and blew us away with her majestic voice. I love JILL like my sister so that makes the thought of me making out with her incestuous. She and ERYKAH both smelled delicious.

DAVE CHAPPELLE is a genius and that came thru clear as he was bridging the sets between acts. He helped the ROOTS crew tune up by performing his renditions of R.KELLY music. If you have seen the CHAPPELLE show and you know the skits, trust me that in a live setting it is even more outrageous. DAVE even called some wild fro-hawk dude up onstage to battle rap with him. When dude was getting too physical with him, DAVE let him know to fall back or he would have his security “yoke his azz”, “I am worth too much money now nigga!”

The ROOTS crew got down next. BLACK THOUGHT rocked the mic, ?UESTLOVE was killing percussion, and even MARTIN LUTHER joined them for their set to play lead guitar. ROOTS crew is one of the greatest hip-hop experiences you will ever enjoy. These dudes are professional musicians that know and love hip-hop. They began to play the music from the KOOL G. RAP song, ‘Streets of NY’ when G.RAP comes up onstage and starts rhyming. Then they go to the G.RAP hit ‘Poison’. My energy is starting to bubble crazy like I am 16 years old again. After that my man on the bass starts playing the bassline to ‘Warm It Up Kane’ and I already knew that BIG DADDY was going to jump out onstage. Can you imagine what Bed-Stuy was feeling seeing KANE onstage doing his hit songs. Like my man GUDTYME said to me, if SCOOB and SCRAP had been onstage dancing… it would have been chain-snatching time. The ROOTS crew is real hip-hop. Please support these dudes forever.

COMMON, MOS DEF and TALIB KWELI all came to the stage simultaneously and they assisted each other on their various hit songs. The crowd sang along as well, especially for MOS DEF’s classic song ‘Umi Says’, TALIB KWELI’s hit ‘Get By’ and the mega-joint from COMMON SENSE, ‘I Used to Love HER’. This was Hip-Hop at it’s best. It was spiritual on a level similiar to a communion. These songs all reminded us why we love this music so much. We were re-energized through our reminiscence. Like the feeling you get everytime you hear ‘T.R.O.Y.’ by PETE ROCK & C.L. SMOOTH. Too bad they weren’t here too, but the best surprise of the night was still in store.

How big is DAVE CHAPPELLE to engineer the reunion of the FUGEES?!? He must have talked some serious Hatian patois to all of them for that reconcilliation. I can’t even do their set justice by trying to describe it in words. LAURYN was all in CLEF’s face for ‘Lost Ones’. PRAZ barked his lines for ‘FuGee La’. CLEF played guitar for his hit ‘Call 9-1-1’. The ultimate magic came for the FUGEE classic sung by LAURYN, ‘Killing Me Softly’. The only thing left for DAVE CHAPPELLE to do would be to wheel out B.I.G. and TUPAC’s caskets and place some microphones on them.

I feel like I owe DAVE CHAPPELLE some paper for all the work he did to put this show together. Instead of giving him some money right now I will just put my name on his e-mail list.

SECRET LIVES of GHETTO CELEBS

February 25th, 2006

m.j. starter kit

K.W. 2005 Christmas wish list.

YOU CALL THIS LOVE?!?

February 25th, 2006

bowweasle

Looks like someone needs a ‘love timeout’.

Pitchers + Catchers = Brand New Wood

February 24th, 2006

chitown's finest

NO BROKEBACK to the above title, but its actually baseball season again, well, almost…

My Knicks suck so bad that I can’t wait to see what kind of work the Mets are going to put in this summer. Anybody that feels like going out the swamp in Queens should holler at the kid.

I like BARRY BONDS, but I hope that he has enough Negro sensibility left in his head for him to retire from the game before surpassing HENRY AARON’s all time home run mark. It seems a bit crazy to me that he should be bent out of shape for that record when a) he used ‘roids, and more importantly b) he didn’t have anyone sending death threats to him or his family like the HAMMER did.

I remember reading a book by GEORGE PLIMPTON titled ‘One for the Record‘ which described the summer leading up to HENRY AARON’s historic home run that eclipsed BABE RUTH. You wouldn’t believe how many people HANK AARON had to battle for that record. The news media was even more biased and contentious then they are now. The commissioner of baseball forced AARON to play in ballgames away from his home stadium. It was a whole thing not to mention the mountain of hate mail and harassing phone calls that he received.

Folks like BONDS stand tall in the game today without the recognition that he is able to see over the rest of the league because he is standing on the shoulders of the great players that came before him.