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JOHN C. REILLY = Pete Puma

December 2nd, 2007

pete puma

After I watched ‘Talledega Nights’ I was a bit puzzled as to why I liked the JOHN C. REILLY portrayal of the Cal Naughton Jr. character so much, and why his voice seemed so familiar to me. It just now struck me that the voice I was remembering so fondly was that of the lovable loser, Pete Puma.

As far as foils for the great Bugs Bunny are concerned Pete Puma was my favorite. He is obviously four cents short of a nickel, but his naiveté is what makes the character so endearing. Cartoon Network was running the classic Warner Brothers’ Merrie Melodies cartoons back in the day. Between those and Nickelodeon’s ‘Ren & Stimpy Show’ I was in my own private animation Idaho[ll].

The Looney Tunes episode with Pete Puma went something like this…

Pete Puma chases a small rabbit into the warren where Bugs Bunny lives. Bugs asked the small rabbit what the problem was. The small rabbit explained his situation and who was after him. Bugs already knew it was Pete Puma giving the little rabbit agita. Bugs then sets out to teach Pete Puma a lesson. It’s one that Pete Puma will likely forget since he is a total burnout spaz.

pete puma

What makes me laugh out loud is Pete Puma’s glee that he can never contain. He laughs at his own unfunny jokes and he totally wears his heart on his sleeve. I almost feel bad for him when he tells Bugs how many lumps he wants to receive. And right on cue, Bugs gives the man what he’s asking for.

pete puma

Pete Puma never learns his lesson however and his mind is bent on somehow tricking the little rabbit away from the protection of Bugs Bunny. The next time the rabbits encounter Pete Puma he has disguised himself as “Mrs. Rabbit”.

pete puma

Bugs Bunny isn’t one to let the opportunity for a social visit go by unrequited so out comes the tea set again for even the homely “Mrs. Rabbit”. Pete Puma has had his fill of tea though. For some reason or the other it gives him a headache.

pete puma

Even coffee doesn’t seem to favor Pete Puma on this day. For the final scene Bugs Bunny and the little rabbit set Pete Puma up to get his lumps bigtime. And just like the chump that Pete Puma is he falls right into the trap.

pete puma

JOHN C. REILLY is an accomplished stage and film actor, but his greatest role has been re-creating the voice of the beloved doofus Pete Puma.

Shout outs to STAN FREBERG and the great MEL BLANC.

Posted in Hollyweird, When I Reminisce... | 10 Comments »

POLITRICKS 2008: Sex And The City’s Money…

December 1st, 2007

This latest scandal might be the death knell for RUDOLPH GIULIANI’s political career. I won’t start my celebration until I see the body lying in state. There have been so many times during GIULIANI’s mayoralty where I thought the people with the big bucks that make the decisions would have buried his ass. Still he rises. Forget for a moment if you can September 11th, 2001. GIULIANI wants you to think of that moment overall because his final act as the mayor of New York City was the cruel and callous treatment that he subjected his family to.

GIULIANI wasn’t about to sacrifice his own pleasure out of respect for his family’s privacy or mental well-being. No wonder GIULIANI’s own daughter campaigns for OBAAMA. At least BARACK has the decency to keep his families private issues in the closet[ll]. When GIULIANI finally went public with the relationship he and his mistress had been having the city’s public coffers were short a half a million. This was just from the documented expenses that had been incurred providing services to the mayor’s head-mistress (puns always intended at DP Dot Com).

Rudy Giuliani Hid His Travel Expenses While Courting Judi

The mayor enjoyed a ridiculous level of privilege and entitlement that he used to splurge on those in his favorable inner circle. Between the unchecked power that he gave to Police Commissioner BERNARD KERIK and the cosmic credit card that he bestowed upon JUDITH NATHAN I’m not surprised now that the city didn’t have money to offer its police, fire and technical worker’s unions. Can you imagine the amount of debt America will assume with JUDIANI as the president?

What surprises me most is how come the vast majority of right wing voters that buy the GIULIANI 9-11 myth can still mitigate his obvious lack of family values. Add to that list now his subsequent lack of fiscal values. GIULIANI is poised to make the BUSH-CHENEY administration look downright honest by comparison. That fact should be a problem for all Americans. No matter what your political affiliation might be. I’ve waited for a long time for the wheels to fall off GIULIANI’s taxpayer leased limousine, but like I said in the opening sentence on this drop I won’t be happy until I finally know this tyrant is put down.

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, HUFF YOU!, Social Upheaval, T.O.N.Y., Wig Owners | 4 Comments »

R.I.P. To An iNternets Celebrity…

November 30th, 2007

zoey zane

Zoey Zane, we barely knew ye.
You lost it all to bare your soul.
Cop the new issue of Barely 18.

The chick above is named EMILY SANDER. She was a small town girl from the Texarkana badlands who thought she could use the internets to skyrocket herself to fame and a better life than working at the truck stop slinging sunnyside up eggs. It was an honest dream. I don’t think any chick gets into pr0n because she wants to be strung out on horse or gutted like a holiday hog.

Most chicks come into pr0n real honest like. They love dicks like I love sneakers. Maybe a little more, but I make no judgement on people who pursue their passion. Unfortunately for EMILY, someone made a judgement on her that said she didn’t deserve love or respect. The one thing I can tell you from my personal experience with a pr0n goddess is that all they ever want is to be treated with respect. And prah’lee some dick too, but some motherfucking respect first.

When EMILY confided in her boyfriend and told him that she would be doing dick pushups as a career, ol’ boy broke north like Oliver. I can’t say that I blame him although if she was making some wild bank I might have considered sticking around. I’m like most men in that I don’t care what my lady does to make her half of the rent as long as she doesn’t burn the lamb chops. In this case however, I don’t think that EMILY met her demise from the jealous ex-beau. The police have reported that Ms. SANDER was seen leaving a local watering hole with some Mexican dude. Didn’t I tell y’all that Anton Chigurh was hardbody as fuck.

The biggest problem with pr0n snuff films is that the really, really good ones only have one take. So now the world is short one iNternets Celebrity, and one sexy redhead. This sucks for me on so many levels because I love myself some redheaded snatch and Spider-Man 4 could have used a pretty Mary Jane for once.

EMILY SANDER a/k/a Zoey Zane Photo Album – *NSFW must be 18y.o.

zoey zane

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, H.A.M., iNternets Celebrities, Lust = Love, Tonys Kansas City | 15 Comments »

Better Basketball = Extra Schmedium Shorts

November 30th, 2007

stockton

Editor’s note: Coach BILLY SUNDAY comes off the bench at the thinking man’s basketball blog, FreeDarko dot com

FreeDarko Nation! What it do party people? Right now I feel like KanYe West after he won all those Emmys. I can’t believe I’m talking to the F.D. famlay. I was a little shook at first to come in over here because y’all cats are mad polysyllabic with your shit, but your boy said that I should just get in where I fit in. Hopefully there’s someone on this side to translate retahd-speak.

The 2007-2008 campaign for the Association is well underway and just like we all imagined they’d be, Boston is a beast. LeBron and the Cavletics might be able to serve up some comp if that dude Jesus Shuttlesworth can keep choking with under a minute left to play. The West is still the best. I was quietly hoping that Houston would step up something serious so that maybe we could have a repeat of one of the classic Finals’ matchups.

The Rockets and the Celtics butted heads[ll] twice for ‘Chips and both times Boston prevailed on the back of Larry Bird. The Celtics superstar forward for this tilt would be the wunderkind Kevin Garnett, while the Rockets foreign exchange center is from Africa by way of China, Ming Yao. The marketing is already in place so it makes the regular season kind of a waste of time. Sort of like the first forty-six minutes of most b-ball games.

rockets celts

The league can work all of its magic to engineer this matchup, but the one element that would have made this series an instant classic has been stashed away in the NBA’s closet of shame. Cocaine, you said? No, but you were close. Tightpants would be the correct answer. In the last twenty plus years since the decline of tightpants the Association itself has been foundering. The beauty of the game is now interminably lost as the players run up and down the court in Capri shorts, or are they coolots. Assists on an overall basis have been declining steadily as well as field goal percentages. Three point field goals made are up from the 1980’s numbers, but how hard is it to shoot a three pointer wearing board shorts?

Show me a professional sport, that is enjoyable, where the entire uniform can be worn as street clothing? I rue the day that Michael Jordan came into the league and altered the minimum length of the player’s shorts. This was the death knell for great basketball play. Baggy pants ruin everything they touch. Zoot suits turned gangsters into comedians. M.C. Hammer ruined rap music. Capri pants killed the NBA. Do you think Elgin Baylor would have been the Rookie of the Year if he didn’t wear tightpants? How the hell do you think Magic Johnson got his nickname? Pause[ll] to that last sentence.

Tightpants are what made an average player like Dennis Rodman into a Hall of Fame caliber player. To bad for Dennis that he was fucking crazy. Don’t blame the tightpants though. John Stockton, arguably the greatest point guard of all time wore tightpants well into the new millennium and for no other reason were the Utah Jazz still a competitive force. Let’s face it party people… Cocaine and tightpants made the Association what it is today. Provided that you don’t overdose on the former, and you don’t elongate the latter you might still have the greatest show on Earth. Word to Oscar Robertson.

big o