Jim Jones keeping it gangsta by preserving his sexy.
Remember When Rap Music Was The New WWE?
Hip Hop Profanity, Misogyny and Violence: Blame the Manufacturer
JIM JONES and and his BFF CAM’RON aren’t speaking right now.
Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category
The Daily Soap Opera That Is Rap Music…
Tuesday, May 8th, 2007You Just Don’t Hear Me Tho’!
Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
As the Bush Administration continues to rumble roughshod over everyone and everything this story emerges about PAUL WOLFOWITZ, the jockey of the pale white horse. WOLFOWITZ is the head of the one of the most sinister organizations evar. The World Bank is described in mainstream media as an organization that fights global poverty, but all of us that know the truth know that the World Bank’s real mission is to impoverish soverign nations.
All of that aside we find that owning the planet is still not enough for G DUBBZ and his cronies. They must even steal the gumballs out of the candy machine. PAUL WOLFOWITZ gave a true sweetheart deal to his ladybug who also worked for the World Bank. In order to try to head off the critics that were sure to spot him and his jumpoff at the same office, WOLFOWITZ hooked shorty up with a position at his former office, the Pentagon. There’s a revolving door that connects the White House with the World Bank with the Pentagon and with Halliburton.
All you have to do is follow the money.
But y’all don’t hear me tho’.
GHETTO CELEB MATHEMATICS: HIP-HOP HONORS WEEK (MGMT’s ReMixes)
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
New York City schoolkids are failing miserably in the state mandated standardized math tests. The schools chancellor says that the test is too hard. I say that we need to find a new way to bring math studies to these kids. To that end your favorite blogger slash political consultant slash relationship advisor turns his laser eye on new millenium mathematics prep.
If you fuck with this site with any regularity then you know that we have already done a Ghetto Celeb Mathematics drop, but this one has a decided focus on honoring one of DP dot com’s favorite Hip-Hop icons – RUSSELL JONES b/k/a OL’ DIRTY BASTARD. Ghetto Celebrity Mathematics brings complex theorems into a nice and easy reference guide using popular culture icons. We chose to use Ol’ Dirty Bastard because of his universal appeal and the fact that he loved the kids, but not in a MARK FOLEY kind of way. O.D.B. left us two years ago for a trip on the mothership, but his life was filled with quotes that let us know he wasn’t doing this rap thing for himself, but for the kids…
“I see things from a one-eye perspective and the four-eye perspective. The one-eye perspective is being able to see everything, as clear as my eye can see it.”
“… this is what Wu Tang do, come with something beautiful for you, like high science. Einstein has a formula, Wu Tang has a formula. A part equals a square and all that stuff, you know what I’m saying? We have a formula, too. The formula is to attack everything at any given time. Just attack and shit like a waterfall, or like water in rapids or more like a fucking whirlpool, fuck you.”
“I went and bought me an outfit today that costed a lot of money today, youknowImean?, ’cause I figured that Wu-Tang was gonna win! I don’t know how y’all see it, but when it comes to the children, Wu-Tang is for the children! We teach the children! You know what I mean? Puffy is good, but Wu-Tang is the best! Okay? I want you all to know that this is ODB, and I love you all, peace!”
We love you too DIRTY. Rest in peace. Wu-Tang forever.
The unpredictable lyrical magic of O.D.B. multiplied by the explosive nature of TIMOTHY McVEIGH gives you the political philosophy of North Korean leader KIM JONG IL.
The hair and charisma of BIG BAGY JESUS added to the sincerity of MARTIN LUTHER KING Jr. that Black people might one day get their shit together = AL SHARPTON (circa YUSUF HAWKINS).
The orange jumpsuit of DIRT McGIRT times Pittsburgh pitcher DOC ELLIS on LSD results with former Mets pitcher DWIGHT ‘DOC’ GOODEN wearing an orange jumpsuit.
The crazy sex appeal of OSIRIS when divided by the vocal stylistics of BOBBY WOMACK gives us BOBBY BROWN.
The energy and uncontrollable Negro madness of OL’ DIRTY is added to the poetic genius of a young LANGSTON HUGHES = REGGIE NOBLE, the funk doctor b/k/a REDMAN.
GHETTO CELEB MATHEMATICS (MGMT’s ReMixes)
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
Now that Asian youth are wiping up the floor with white kids in the SAT’s and standardized tests guess who is ringing the alarm?!? It wasn’t a problem when Black kids weren’t learning because that fits the supremacy program anyhoo, but now that TAD, CONNOR and HALEY aren’t ranking with RAJESH or SOO LI there seems to be an issue.
There are so many reasons that Black kids can’t learn that I won’t even try to open that box up, but I have known for years that it was time to switch our pitch up in how we attempted to educate the children. Learning has to be rewards based and practical. It reaffirms the reasons why we attend class when we can see a direct correlation to what we learn and how we live. I would love for there to be an increase in vocational studies put back into schools as well as out-of-class field projects that expose children to the world at large. I suppose all of that rhetoric sounds good to the ‘hood, but how do we implement it into the system?
BLU CHEEZ had an idea to use celebrities to help teach kids math skills since they are too busy spending their millions on items that have no social value. This way there is a relevance to the lesson and current and former pop culture icons can say that they ‘gave back’ to the community. BLU CHEEZ will use these celebrities in different formulas to indicate the various products and remainders that are created from their variable talents. Let’s see some of his examples…
Spike from Gremlins swagger plus the H.A.M. hand jewelry of SAMMY DAVIS Jr. = LIL’ WEEZLE
DIANA ROSS’ wig collection plus a huge horse booty = BeYONCE
This is pretty simple stuff. How about trying out some of these harder problems…
RuPAUL’s singing voice divided by TEDDY PENDERGRASS after hours = NEYO
The media exposure of OPRAH WINFREY multiplied by the class of VIVICA FOX = STAR JONES REYNOLDS
KIM PORTER’s reproductive system and PUFF’s ability to make anything famous = The new old Jackson 5 (just watch out for the MICHAEL).
We Still Got It For Cheap…
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
I still have four sets left of the Luke Cage – Powerman and Falcon action figures. For only $20 you get to say you sponsor the internets only website called DallasPenn Dot Com. It’s like supporting a funkier version of NPR where occasionally you see dead bodies and/or nudity. It’s truly public broadcasting.
Do it for the kid inside of you who likes to keep their toys unopened in the see thru blister packaging. Do it for the CD that I enclose with your order. Do it because I say so and more than anything you want to make me happy. What is easier than sending your good friend DALLAS some money through the internets? I am liking that smile on your face.
Now log in to PayPal and send your money to – bluecheese28@hotmail.com
BLUE CHEEZ says “Thank you.”
