Archive for November, 2006

TODD McFARLANE Was A Boss On Spider-Man…

Friday, November 17th, 2006

mcfarlane spiderman

I have featured my favorite comic book artist JOHN BYRNE almost exclusively on this site. I also gave some burn to the great BILL SIENKIEWICZ and I had to give shine to the graphic storytelling skills of FRANK MILLER. All these dudes I can trace back to an artist named NEAL ADAMS, who was an influential artist and comic storyteller from the 60’s and early 70’s. NEAL ADAMS did some killer Batman shit, X-Men and most notably, Green Arrow/Green Lantern. NEAL ADAMS was the first cat to illustrate the faces of heroes in lifelike detailed distress that let the reader know that being a superhero was hard fucking work.

JOHN BYRNE bit hard off some of ADAMS’ style techniques while FRANK MILLER made social themes central to his stories like ADAMS’ did. BILL SIENKIEWICZ was just a trippy hippy artist. When TODD McFARLANE burst on the scene in the late 80’s he took Marvel Comics flagship hero to new heights. McFARLANE was definitely influenced by the BYRNE-MILLER-SIENKIEWICZ holy trinity of comicbook illustration.

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TODD McFARLANE illustrated Spider-Man with verve and action. The covers described the web slinging wall crawler as almost ready to jump from up the book. He gave the two dimensional format of comics a third dimension. This was a storytelling technique that FRANK MILLER stole from NEAL ADAMS. When you see a character break out of the panes of the storyboard and jump across the page of the book it makes your sightline move in an other than normal fashion. TODD McFARLANE also filled the panels with a wild amount of details. I would pore over the comic for hours to see who he drew in the background of a scene.

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McFARLANE also had the good fortune of creating one of Spider-Man’s most feared and loved villains in the past twenty five years. The villain character called Venom was a fearsome and ruthless creature. The by-product of an alien parasite and a person that hated Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s guts to the nth. Venom was determined to end Spider-Man’s career and break his bones. Spidey barely lived to tell the tale after tangling with Venom. That’s why I admit that I am a little nervous about this new Spider-Man movie coming out this spring. With all the villains that have been created already it might be hard to make a fourth movie. This third installment is gona be the shizzz.

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Introducing AMADEO SOGNI a/k/a The Brown Hornet…

Friday, November 17th, 2006

brown hornet

Editor’s note: With all the good writers that have pitched in to keep this boat floating the last few weeks I realize how lucky I am to be at the epicenter of this movement. That’s prahlee because I have my own gravitational field but I digress… You folks are in for another special treat this Friday. One of the longtime readers of this site and established blogger in his own right does some supreme investigative journalism to uncover the dark secrets behind the Muppet Show. AMADEO SOGNI is a site that just like DP Dot Com can find the common thread between Star Wars, sassy women, liberal Republicans, free concerts and bowel movements. The author is a renaissance man without being cliché. A free thinker and friend to the site, here is a small taste of what he brings to the table…

THE RABBIT FROG HOLE GOES DEEP (no JIM HENSON).

You going against the family?

“You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”
Roger ‘Verbal’ Kint – The Usual Suspects, 1995

So you really think it’s all fun and games? You think they’re here for your amusment? Well let me educate you on the empire behind “The Muppet Show”. It all starts with the Frog and works it’s way down.

Don't make me make you say goodbye.
The Frog: He’s like Frank Sinatra except he doesn’t just know people…he is people. Some guys buy clubs and use that as a front. Well, Kermit went the full nine and became an entertainer as well. That way he’s on front street in a legit fashion and no one suspects his true status. However don’t think that people who tried to play him on the Muppet Show didn’t get served. Mark Hamill was on after Star Wars, word is he said something out of character to the Frog and since the trilogy the only thing he’s done is the voice of the Joker. Harrison Ford showed proper respect. Kermit has been recruiting since the cradle, Muppet Babies wasn’t a show it was a proving ground…that’s why Scooters sister didn’t make it, he had already found his woman. The Frog stays out of suspicion by looking a certain way…child friendly.

Financial Maintanence Technician
Scooter: Having seen what happened to his sister, Scooter got himself together, went to school and became a financial wizard. His books are so clean you can eat off of them. The Frog is keeping some secrets about Scooter that stop him from getting out of pocket…or going into Kermits. He also books the acts for the show. Scooters best move was flipping the dirty cash between countries. I don’t have all the details but when it comes back it’s clean and has increased by 15%.


Ms.Piggy: This is the big man’s woman. It may seem like she intimidates him, but that’s all a show. He runs the show in the bedroom. However, her strength ain’t no accident. Who better than to be your bodyguard than the woman you run with. Piggy has broke off enough people who stepped to the Frog the wrong way. An example…

What the hell am I?
Gonzo: This cat (or whatever the hell he is) used to be a real player. As it goes he stepped to The Frog on some takeover nonsense and the Pig rearranged him. Gonzo used to be something you could identify but, after the Pig was done all the doctors could do is what you see. He was also left a little funny in the head, why do you think he runs around with a chicken. He doesn’t know it but, he’s used as a threat to people The Frog needs to make a point to. “You meet Gonzo…you wanna end up like him?”

Everyone has a friend like him.
Fozzie: This is proof that The Frog is a man of his word. When they were little Fozzie took the heat for one of Kermit’s first charges, thus keeping his record clean. The Frog promised to look out for him and he has. I mean the only thing funny about him is that he considers himself a comedian. Plus he’s not even a decent bear. The Frog keeps his word though.

The good doctor
Dr. Bunsen: Bunsen like burner. This is the guy that created Crystal Meth and Ecstasy. The Frog has his hands in everything and designer drugs are Bunsens specialty. If you wondered why his assistant Beeker is so messed up…he’s the one who has to test the stuff.

Give us Free
Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem: This is an example of The Frogs vindictive streak. So The Electric Mayhem just wanted to make it in the business. Kermit wanted to sample some of Janices melody making, but she was Floyds woman. Kermit was just going to knock them off…then he saw Animal and realized he could be useful. Instead of just taking animal away, he signed the band through Dr. Teeth to a horrible contract. Let’s just say in 2050 there is an option to release the band but, only Kermit can exercise it. Animal, however, has been trained in 10 fighting styles and is the Frogs #1 hitman. He’s the one they send in to take out groups of people.

From the Old country
Statler and Waldorf: These two are the real show of The Frogs power. These two mentored Kermit when he was a tadpole. They figured he would grow up and work for them. Wrong. He grew up and took over their turf. He doesn’t kill them cause that would cause too much beef with the “Family” in the Old Country. Besides he keeps them locked up and all that they can do is heckle acts on the show. From players to hostage spectators.

The Frog has an army behind him if you really cause a problem The Animal will come see you. For smaller fish he has Crazy Larry (he’ll really blow your spot), Lew Zealand (he only throws fish on the show – in real life his thing is blades), The Swedish Chef and if he wants to keep the bodies away from him he can always call in his people from the “The Street”.

WHEN KINGDOME COMES…

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

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Editor’s note: DP dot com football pooler and drinking buddy 40 DILLA has gifted us with another drop, but this time he gives us his passion for Hip-Hop and cRap music with a review of the ‘Kingdome Come’ CD. This disk is turning out to be one of the most downloaded and discussed albums of all time. I’ve read several thorough reviews of the album and I was pleased when 40 submitted his take for publication. If you are a JAY-Z stan, or even a fan of today’s current pop music you should lend 40 your eyes for a moment so that he can open them up wide.

When Kingome Comes…

It seemed I’d catch heat from people when I told them I wasn’t clickin’ on any of the first three singles that dropped. I was called hater for 30 mins straight while in the barber’s chair. Needless to say this album dropped and only trend humpers would defend this mediocrity…

40 Dilla gives it 3 outta 5. He actually gets a 1/2 point just for being Jay, but for a “comeback album” he should have stayed with pushing off of Bryon Russell and canning the winning shot for his final championship.

I still think his career is gonna finish like Jordan – getting fired from his front office job and having to leave with some sort of shame and disgust. Sadly this could have been fixed with a mere $2 – a pen & a pad.

Actually I had high standards for it. I mean since Jay has entered that “rarified air” of hip-hop royalty I have a different set of criteria for him that I only reserve for the “greats”. My issue with it was that I had expected more for this piece de resistance comeback album. I usually don’t DL albums off of SOHH and I’m a pretty opinionated person as it is so I don’t see myself succumbing to the manic crack-babyness of Spot discussion…

Now for Mr. Jones album I’ve heard two songs – “Hip-Hop Is Dead” which is cool but the rehashing of “Thief’s Theme” is very meh to me. “The N” I’m digging right now, but alas its only two songs. I could be as honest with Nas ‘ next effort. Because as much as I got love for Nas, I don’t have “Nastradamus” and “I Am” got medium spins at that from me. So that just to say even if I consider you one of the bests you still don’t get “Instant Classic” status like they give out on SOHH….

I mean be honest for “Kingdom Come” – I was told that there was like 3-4 Dre tracks and my neck didn’t snap once while listening to it… I’m actually disappointed. Its like having a kid doing bad in school and you know he can do better and your just hoping that he does, or you keep having him try again with the hopes of better results… You wanna call yourself savior, king, president, etc, I’m gonna judge more stringently. Like honors kids can’t get away with pulling special ed quality work ya’ know?

My thing with Jay is that he lies to himself, its almost tragic. I think this guy legitimately respects the lyrical abilities of Common, Ghost, Kweli, Mos, AND Nas. He wants to be lauded by his fellow artists as an artist. You ask anyone about Jay and people cite his savvy before they site his skills. His rags to riches story is truly the American dream, but I think he’s caught in a real conundrum and that bothers him. He’ll never be truly appreciated by the business world (he owns a 5% stake in a group that holds a 15% interest of the Nets, and Ratner is getting tons of mileage out of it) and he’ll always be at the bottom 5 of the average person’s top-10 lists. So what its gonna be Jay? I look at it two ways…

1. You’re rich beyond your wildest dreams. You’re the president of the pre-eminent rap label in history. You spent your last “magnum opus” crowing about how artistically unappreciated you are. So buck up. You’re retired this album isn’t gonna make or break you at this point so go ahead – be an artist. I’m sure his album sales are probably one of his smaller checks. He has access to whomever he wants – USE THEM. While on your yacht in Ibiza, use your Bulgari pen and jot a few rhymes down. We won’t hold it against you. BASICALLY HE CAN AFFORD TO BE ARTSY.

or

2. Become Jay-Z the mogul. Russell Simmons 2.0 and become raps first billionaire. I was actually growing fond of Shawn Carter the Business Man. I was impressed with the opportunities presented to him and the way he was going about that. I was legitimately interested in watching his corporate sucess. I mean this was a guy I stood next to at The Roxy in 1998 and we’re both waiting to order a drink. To see someone go from that to where he is now is impressive. And I continue to be interested where he takes it…

Unfortunately, #1 seems to still matter to him – OR THATS WHAT HE’S TRYING TO SELL TO THE TRUE FANS OF RAP (as opposed to the TRL set). So at this point – pick a side Jay. Just stick with it for a few years. Honestly I don’t think people would be mad with either decision.

Shit, I’m almost 32, with a great job, health benefits, saving to buy a home, and pushing a sizable whip and I’M NOT FEELING IT. I think this album will probably alienate most of his younger fan base and become the soundtrack for people going through their mid-life crisis. You know those people in their late 30’s who are trying to get some of their cool swagger back. Parents will think this album will bridge the generational gap by thinking “its hot” and kids will roll their eyes in the back of the minivan like “Why do they like this old guy”. Someone here made a good point about if this was some rookie’s first album it would be a little more acceptable. But understand this – this is going to be the first rap album that alot of people will have bought in a while or even for the first time. All those NASCAR fans who loved seeing Dale Jr., all his new fans from the Bud commercial, those are the people that will be loving this drivel…

The DP Dot Com Football Pool (Wk 11)

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

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I’ve been told that there’s no truth to the rumor that LM will be appearing on the new DIP SET holiday album ‘White Snow Christmas: Crack Rap for Christ Sakes’. Ultimately, that’s too bad because LM may not be the most gifted emcee, but ol’ boy is sharp with the numbers. Even crack dealing rap superstars should have a good accountant.

This is that week that I will make or break some of you fools. With everybody hugging CANDICE’s behind like she were a pair of stripper drawls its time to shake what our momma’s gave us. Just like last week we will have seven games and four (4) bonus points on the table. If you ever believed you could fly this would be the week to get off the ground (no ERIC MANGINA). Here’s your lineup…

CINCINNATI BENGALS @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
Bengals roll big in the bayou this weekend. CHAD JOHNSON goes for 500 receiving yards.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ CLEVELAND BROWNS
Pittsburgh were the Super Bowl champs last season right?!? Pittsburgh shows some pride in one of the toughest divisions in football.

ATLANTA FALCONS @ BALTIMORE RAY-VENS
I am going with the road dog Falcons because I see Baltimore looking past them.

BUFFALO BILLS @ HOUSTON TEXANS
I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for the Bills this season (no MARV LEVY).

WASHINGTON REDSKINS @ TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS
There’s no reason to think that Washington can win on the road without CLINTON PORTIS. I am still picking the ‘Skins since they all have their spleens.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ MIAMI DOLPHINS
The ‘Fins aren’t as bad as we first thought and the Vikes weren’t as good as they thought.

DETROIT LIONS @ ARIZONA CARDINALS
Two words… DILLA LIVES!

BONUS POINTS * BONUS POINTS * PONUS POINTS

Who has the most receiving yards this weekend?
CHAD JOHNSON or ANDRE JOHNSON?
ANDRE JOHNSON
(Winners get 1 pont each)

Who throws the most touchdownpasses this weekend?
JOHN KITNA or DONOVAN McNABB?
JOHN KITNA
(Winners get 1 pont each)

Total combined score for CHICAGO BEARS @ NEW YORK JETS
OVER or UNDER 33 pts
UNDER.
(Winners get 1 pont each)

Total combined score for SAN DIEGO CHARGERS @ DENVER BRONCOS
OVER or UNDER 43 pts
UNDER
(Winners get 1 pont each)

ORENTHAL Thought He Could Cross Over Like HARDAWAY…

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

whitemare

No PAT ROBERTSON to the rest of this post, but who wants to start the ‘O.J. Assassination Date Pool’?

Not that I think he deserves to die for his wife and her fag pool boy’s murders, but wouldn’t O.J.’s death make white happy again? It’d be like Christmas day with a present from JOHN WAYNE, BOB HOPE and J.EDGAR HOOVER under a burning cross tree. Lovely.

What most people realize is that O.J. lived the life of a princely, privileged Black man. He even thought he was white himself(that’s why I don’t care if his wig gets peeled). He had it made in the shade, and even though he was a shitbag to people and even an abusive husband he wasn’t one of the dudes that merc’d those two white that Sunday evening. Peep the exclusive DP dot com scenario straight from a notebook in a San Quentin prison…

O.J. SIMPSON was a trick ass lame. He knew that his wife’s yayo money was due and he was fronting on making the payment. That’s prah’lee why that cokehead bitch had that fag playing her so close. She thought that homo could stop the bum rush. That’s what he gets for not having enough actual talent, but in Hollywood, holding peoples’ bags is considered a talent. O.J. thought he knew the day that the goons were coming and he planned on taking his ass to Chi-Town to fall back with his folks. That would make him look like a good guy who happened to be visiting his parents when his estranged drug addict wife was killed. He thought they’d strangle her or something polite. After he found out how grisly the scene was he had a little bit of a shit fit. He wondered if these dudes would lean on him for the tab.

Thank goodness for good ol’ JOHNNIE COCHRAN. He smacked the shit out of O.J. in prison and told him to shut his fucking pie hole. If he could keep from being a pussy and dry snitching on the coke dealers JOHNNIE would be able to get his ass off the hook. And what a masterful job JOHNNIE did by displaying the ultimate truth which is that O.J. SIMPSON wasn’t one of the killers. O.J. SIMPSON knew that his wife was about to die, but he wasn’t one of the dudes that ripped through her and the fag pool boy’s throats.

Still and all I predict that some regular white that is pissed off from watching USC tumble in the AP BCS rankings will take a shot at O.J. It might even be someone from Notre Dame next weekend.