Archive for August, 2007

Re: BATTLE OF THE MYSPACE BABY PICS…

Saturday, August 4th, 2007

baby blogger

In the first battle of the baby MySpace pics nekkid baby blogger took out the competition from an assortment of iNternets Celebrities like GABEROCKKA, Humanity Critic and D-Nice. Even New York Giants superstar running back RYAN GRANT was bested.

This next battle is for supremacy inside the lovely ladies division. Let’s see who the queen of the baby MySpace pics is going to be.

fresh

FRESHIFER LOPEZ a/k/a FreshLo
Even as a baby she was sitting in the throne. You should already know that Fresh is the queen of these iNternets from her grind at Crunk & Disorderly. If you don’t know, please ask somebody.

unruly


Baby Unruly Brown a/k/a One Cool Honey Baby

Unruly Brown is a vet on the blogging set. I fucks with Unruly because she is all about her business. If you got a dream and you are ready to work on the plan then make sure you have her in your corner to help you stack that paper.

sasha

Phoenix Rising
Most of you folks that have been to the DP Dot Comments Section know this sister as Sasha. Here you see her going for the gold medal in a two-piece cheerleader outfit that gets ROBERT SYLVESTER’s vote. Yikes!.

twins

The Cocoa Twins
It’s hard not to eff with Aunt Jackie’s Cocoa Twins.

es dubbz Shorty Whitebread says, “Eff what you heard! I always caught young wood for this Jamaican nanny that I had back when I was three. I have no idea if there is a Hell when I leave this planet, but I know where I came from, and the twins are the doorknockers to Heaven’s gate.”

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

sneaker pimps

es dubbz Shorty Dubbizzle says, “L.A. stand the fuck up! I’m talking to you MEKA SOUL, and you AUNT JACKIE. If y’all don’t rep that S.F.U. lifestyle on the left coast then this shit is a wrap.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

vick

Before this whole MICHAEL VICK fiasco jumped off I was totally prepared to copp the new Air Vick trainers from NIKE. This was the first model that wasn’t accentuated with ghey straps and buckles all over the shoes upper. Just a neat white, black and red colorway to match the Atlanta Falcons’ uniforms and an alternate version with the concrete pattern first made popular by the Air Jordan III’s.

air vick

air vick

es dubbz Es Dubbz says, “Michael Vick, you have fucked the fuck up. And now I will be buying your Falcons jersey on 95% Off sale. Do yourself a favor and retain me as your defense lawyer. I’m cute and I love whitebread. You’ll never win anything with that slick talking nigger lawyer.

Oops, did I just say the ‘N’ bomb? My bad DP, that slipped out.


There’s No Time For Tears In The Penitentiary…

Thursday, August 2nd, 2007

brit

What the hell are white chicks up to now? It wasn’t such a bad thing when they came out with the black girl booties. Actually, it was quite nice. But who is responsible for getting all these white women served up with jail time? It’s just wrong to put a snowflake in the clink. I don’t care how many times she has been caught driving under the influence. At least she hasn’t killed anyone with her car like BRANDY did.

lohan

LINDSAY LOHAN is a nutcase that didn’t fall far enough from her family tree. Her moms is getting sued for embezzling or something like that. Her dad is a maniac too. Just a few weeks prior iNternets Celebrity 40 Dawg hung out with the troubled movie star and even offered to hold her weed when she was in New York City. She should have taken him up on his offer. Now she’s looking at three months in jail for violating her bracelet probation. This is a damn shame that she could have avoided. When are these ladies going to learn that going to jail only helps men sell records? What these broads need to do to break into the urban lifestyle market is to get a cover and pinup special in an issue of Black Swimsuit men’s magazine. Now I’ll buy that for a dollar.

es dubbz Shorty says, “What the hell are you bitches doing?!? You are rich already. You don’t need street credibility. There are people that value going to prison as some sort of educational experience, you should not be one of those people. I don’t want there to be a Barbie doll with a prison jumpsuit for sale in Toys ‘R Us this Christmas season. Baby white Jesus would have wept.

White Folks, We Got To Do Better…

Thursday, August 2nd, 2007

mullets

When the Black Entertainment Television program ‘Hot Ghetto Mess’ contacted DP Dot Com to become a producer for their trainwreck space shuttle crash of a show I knew better than to put my name on that hot mess. I don’t think B.E.T. has the management in place to create something originally, officially funny. They need to staff up for real and get rid of some of those dinosaurs that are killing Hip-Hop.

What’s so funny about the internets anyhoo? Yeah there are tons of pictures of people in some compromising poses, and sure there are images of gloriously ugly people, but how much of that shit can you watch? Well blow me down. Apparently this is what the network needed to capture the time slot that the program was broadcast in. If this is what the people want then maybe the braintrust at DP Dot Com needs to reconsider their content programming.

If you cant B.E.T. ’em, you might as well join ’em. I sent our newest intern, Shorty Whitebread a/k/a Es Dubbz onto the internets to pull up some images and give us his commentary on the state of the nation. It’s a little something called White Folks: We Got To Better. You ain’t neva lie, Shorty Whitebread. You ain’t neva lie.

white rappers

White Rappers

es dubbz Es Dubbz says “White folks, we got to do better. The first step is to stop rapping. Just because Eminem was one of the best rappers ever it doesn’t mean that there’ll ever be another good white rapper, and there isn’t. Let’s be happy with who we have in the game. You don’t see Black people in a rush to become opera singers.”

“You don’t have to rap in order to get a Hip-Hop sounding nickname. Just hang out with some Blacks and they’ll give you one for FREE.”


hair bands

Emo Garage Bands

es dubbz Shorty Whitebread says “White folks, we got to do better. Don’t start trying to bring back he New Wave 1980’s in your garage. Why don’t you just go to a rave or something. It was one thing for all the midwesterners moving into Brooklyn to be wearing Members Only jackets like the thrift store had a run on them, but if you start wearing Chams de Baron shirts and leather ties all over again we will become the worst dressed race. Behind the Latins and the Chinese.”

fake elvis

Elvis Fans

es dubbz Shorty Dubbz says “White folks, we got to do better. Let’s just let Elvis Presley die already.”


white rappers

white rappers

white rappers

Random White People

es dubbz ES DUBBZ says “White folks, we got to do better. It’s time to come upstairs from the basement in your parents’ house and get a real job and sell all of your comic books.”