DP Dot Com Super Heroine Series: TALIA AL’GHUL

September 12th, 2007

talia

I could prah’lee do a series just on the chicks that the Bat has banged out over the years. I almost think that Batman is a faggot because he is always getting next to bad broads. He doesn’t have the numbers of anyone less than a ten in his phonebook. Only fags stay next to supermodels that much. There is not one buster on this man’s resume. That’s pretty impressive. This chick, Talia Al’Ghul was one for the ages, literally.

Talia Al’Ghul was the daughter of Batman’s nemesis Ra’s Al Ghul. Typical for the Bat is that he only effs with chicks that are severely insane in the membrane. Talia Al’Ghul makes Catwoman look as sane as SUZE ORMAN. Sometimes she feels like a nut and does some crazy shit to kill thousands of people and move her father’s goal of genocide further and sometimes she lets the Batman give backshots to her sweet Persian baklava. It’s all so crazy.

I started to get into Talia Al’Ghul after I copped a NEAL ADAMS’ drawn Detective comic book and I saw this exotic young hotness whom the Bat was sticking his tongue down her throat. I was like, “Dayum!” and I grew up thinking that Arabic chicks were sexy mommas. Until RONALD RAYGUN showed me otherwise. True story though is that I had a monster crush on my Geometry tutor when I was thirteen, and I so badly wanted to give her Iranian arse my chocolate rain.

Anyhoo, I never did smash anything Persian after all, and I’m certainly not messing with any of those suicide bomber broads at this point. Just like Talia Al’Ghul these Arabic chicks might be sexy, but their politics make them complicated as fuck.

A COMICBOOK CLASSIC TURNS TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD…

September 12th, 2007

love and war

I will give away a couple of copies of the ‘DareDevil’ movie on DVD for anyone that can tell me the issue number where Bullseye and Elektra fight each other. That issue turned twenty five years old this summer and Target had a sale on DVD’s.

Now is the time for you to get some free ish from DP Dot Com and put your name on our ‘snail mail’ list. That means more free ish will come your way. It’s a win-win situation for you. The ‘DareDevil’ movie is based on a plotline written by FRANK MILLER.

dd 181

DareDevil’s most electrifying and complex villains all come together in this movie to create a dynamic superhero action flick. I dig this film, and I think you will too.

The movie stars BEN AFFLECK as the man without fear, COLIN FARRELL is the psychotic assassin Bullseye, MICHAEL CLARKE-DUNCAN plays the nefarious Kingpin, and JENNIFER GARNER is cast as the beautiful killing machine Elektra. Put your bid in quick for this flick because I only have two left to give away.

love and war

FISTY SCENT: Ghetto Patriot (Curtis 9-11 ReMix)

September 11th, 2007

fisty

Everytime I get ready to kill CURTIS over something that I think he is being selfish or ig’nant about he shows me that he is thinking outside the box and is considering humanity and the greater good.

In an effort to keep young Americans informed about the dangers of terrorism here in the United States FISTY SCENT has teamed up with the Department of Homeland Security to clarify the color coding system of the Terror Threat Levels.

By using colored du-rags FISTY SCENT will illustrate that Hip-Hop cares about America.

fisty scents THREAT LEVEL NORMAL

GREEN DU-RAG
When FISTY released the ‘Power Of The Dollar’ CD he was wearing a green du-rag from the cash advance that Columbia Records gave him.


fisty scents THREAT LEVEL GUARDED

BLUE DU-RAG
Local Southside Queens thugs were jealous of FISTY and his green du-rag so they shot him up. This made him upset and blue, hence the blue du-rag. Also he was in guarded condition from this point on since he was a Federal witness in a money laundering case against a legendary drugpin.


fisty scents THREAT LEVEL ELEVATED

YELLOW DU-RAG
The yellow du-rag is for stay alert status and that is how FISTY had to play the streets while his beef with JA-RULE reached a climax.


fisty scents THREAT LEVEL HIGH

ORANGE DU-RAG
Orange du-rags had to put on after Jam Master Jay was killed. This is a very high terror alert for FISTY and he had problems with JADAKISS, FAT JOE, NAS, JA RULE and pretty much all of New York.


fisty scents THREAT LEVEL SEVERE

RED DU-RAG
We almot got up to the red du-rag when FISTY called out PUFF DIDDY but thankfully the yellow du-rag came back out. All hell will be breaking loose once the red du-rag gets put on. Let’s hope we don’t have to see that one.


A sincere apology is made to the website contributor RD from us for creating a du-rag post without his expert input (no Weezy F Baby).

GABEROCKKA On BDP – BRANCH DISCOVERY PROCESS

September 11th, 2007

renegabe

Editor’s note: GABEROCKKA is the Addict’s Field Correspondent. Peep game from one of the young, up and coming[ll] legends in the making.

I was trolling some of my streetwear/fashion geek forums this morning, and some of the posts I read got me to thinking about the Branch Discovery Process. The BDP is not real; it’s something I just made up, but it works for me and it’s a novel way of examining the processes through which we go to increase our knowledge.

In the beginning of 1998, I was chilling at a party at this skeeze named Asha’s house. In my crew, Asha got passed around more than triple honey dipped oo-wop, 2wap, 3wap, or whatever you call a blunt rolled with multiple Phillies. True story is after the Marijuana Parade in 97′, my dudes Tech and Malice and I rolled a honey dipped quadrop that took an hour and a half to burn, and had to be held with two hands, but I digress. An hour into the party Tech showed up with a new Mixtape by Babu and J-Rocc of the Beat Junkies, called ‘Bumrush Brothers Vol. 2’. I had been listening to hip hop since the late 80’s, but I learned from this mixtape that their was a whole new movement in hip hop going on right under my nose. This tape had tracks by cats I had never heard of before such as Jurassic 5, Dilated Peoples, and Lootpack. I fell in love with underground hip hop the first time I heard it, and the very next day I brought the mixtape to Fat Beats with the instructions ‘I want shit like this.” They hit me off with a grip of Eddie Ill and DL mixtapes, and I was off the college.

At school I was selling E for my dude MOVES back in the City, and there was only so much money I could spend on chronic and ordering food every day. My starting to collect records came about mostly because of money surplus (I wasn’t into sneakers like I am now at the time). I noticed a link on one of the tapes to a website called Sandbox Automatic, and I checked it out. Turned out all these dope indie hip hop records that I had assumed were so obscure as to be impossible to find were all available for purchase at this site, and for a measly $6 apiece. I started ordering records from Sandbox, using the playlists of the tapes as shopping lists. Eventually I developed an email friendship with the owners, and when I went back to the City that summer they offered me a job. As a newcomer to the hip hop vinyl scene, this was the best educational experience I could hope for. When I started out I didn’t know anything about the artists, but the way I expanded my knowledge was intuitive; I knew I liked the artists on the mixtapes, so first I copped everything I could find by them. Then I copped records by artists who had guest features on the mixtape, then I copped records by artists on the same record label, and so forth. This type of organically branching out research, coupled with the fact that I’m a neurotic obsessive nut-job who eats, breathes, and sleeps my fixation du jour, is what brought me from being a clueless n00b getting clowned on forums, to being who I am today (slightly less naive – still getting clowned on forums.) Oh I also wrote record reviews for YRB Mag. and ran my own ‘Zine for a while, but that was later.

When I was in high school, I was into sneakers, but nothing like I am now. I had the Air Max 95 Classics, and the Air Max 95 Comets. I had a pair of Air Humara’s, and a pair of Air Terra Humara’s. I liked sneakers but I wasn’t a sneakerhead; I was into fashion in general and putting together dope outfits, but back then I was more of a Polo Raver type, so it was all about designer menswear like Polo, Nautica, DKNY, etc. I stayed up in Macy’s and Bloomies. One time, my crew ended up all owning the same pair of Air Max’s in different colorways (unintentionally) and we met up at my crib all wearing our new kicks, stood in a circle, and formed sneaker-voltron. I actually took a pic, which is sitting somewhere in my apartment (I will hunt down and scan). At the time of course I didn’t realize how teh ghey this all was, but it’s all gravy. In 2003, after beating my Air Max’s and Humara’s to death I went out to get a new pair of kicks, but I didn’t like any of the general releases I was seeing in the stores. This was before I became a sneab (sneaker snob) – now I wouldn’t even bother going to Foot Locker and looking at General Release Nikes, because my sneabishness has consumed me and I’m convinced that all of the GR Nikes are ugly. Back then I had no idea what Quickstrike or Tier 0 meant; indeed I wasn’t even aware of a hierarchy of exclusivity of Nike releases. If I was I probably would have hit up a sneaker boutique like DQM, but back then I didn’t even know such a thing existed.

Anyhoo, not being able to find any new models I liked, I decided to search Ebay for some of the older models I used to rock. I found some Terra Humara’s in an obsidian/engine colorway and I copped. I liked the way it felt to wear TH’s again that the very next week I went back on Ebay looking for more colorways and found an all brown premium leather edition called ‘HTM – Paul Brown’ – I copped. The fashion nut in me had been dormant for a while but this was definitely when things started shifting. Just the very fact that I saw nothing wrong with buying the same pair of kicks in multiple colors was very telling as I had previously taken a more practical approach towards footwear. One day while doing Google searches for more pairs of Terra Humara’s, I stumbled upon a treasure trove of information in the form of a sneaker and streetwear blog, and a website called Flight Club. I started reading the blogs, and frequenting Flight Club, expanding my tastes past Terra Humara’s into Air Max’s. When I’m fixated on something, I tirelessly research it and immerse myself in it; with sneakers and streetwear, as with records, and before that, comics, my goal was to develop an encyclopedic level of knowledge in as short a time as possible. Getting into one brand led me to another; getting into one store led me to another.

I tell these stories to illustrate my theory of the branch discovery process, which gets its name from the way that each discovery branches out to another. It’s a process I take for granted, but I’m not sure everyone goes through the same steps when trying to learn about a new thing. Or maybe it’s one of those things that everyone does, but no one stops to examine. Now that I’m aware of it, it’s always interesting for me to watch it happen. I’m on autopilot so I don’t even consciously do things that are part of the BDP, but if you’re not lucky enough to be an obsessive weirdo like me, you can always try to follow the instructions and see if you can’t implement the BDP in your own quest for knowledge.

But when it comes to BDP, Knowledge always Reins Supreme.

1.

cRap Music Fantasy League Q3 Update #6

September 11th, 2007

kissing cousins

A special prize goes out to the person who guesses correctly the number of phonebooks that KanYe is standing on in order to look Curtis directly in the eyes.

Well today is the day cRap Music Moguls. The day we have all been waiting for. The clash of teh ghey titans goes head to head [ll]. Not that way, but then again who the hell knows how freaky these egomaniacs are. One thing is for sure, the only way to beat these terrorists is to spend some money. If you don’t put yourselves further into debt we could all end up chillaxin’ with Tupac and Biggie. Hopefully they have a pool out back.

The cRap Music Fantasy League is entering the home stretch for the third quarter and it has become a horse race for essentially five label owners provided Mitchy Slick doesn’t do anything too crazy like a triple murder suicide. That would earn him and his label owner iFUX a lot of points. Don’t get any ideas either FUX, without you on your blog grizzly where would I get to see all the iCandy of the hottest broads from UniVision?

As the quarters are about to end the blue chip, sureshot superstars always stand the fuck up. R.KELLY is getting all of label owners their points. Jay-Z opens a new 40/40 Club and whoever was smart enough to put the ‘old head’ on their roster is benefitting from that move. Let’s not forget your girl Foxy Brown, who manages to remain a point scorer without even releasing a note of music. The big story this quarter is all about Fisty Scent and ‘Ye Tudda. These two will both close out the Q3 scoring with platinum albums thanks to the hype machine that Universal Music Group operates. Let’s listen to a few songs from the WonderTwins latest albums…


‘YE TUDDA – ‘Flashing Lights’
Put on your rockstar shades when you bump this joint.


FISTY SCENT – ‘Gun Go Off’
Put on your bulletproof vest ‘cuz they shootin’! NSFW

Here’s a look at all the label owners and their scores, read it and weep bitches…

Gain Green Records 5600
Krack Ko Kaine Entertainment 5350
Grand Theft Audio Records 5100
DubbleUP Entertainment 4850
America Done Fell Off Records 4350
Rook Records 4275
Blue & Creme Entertainment 4050
Sheem-Deem Entertainment 3975
Pretty Dollar Entertainment 3925
Combat Jack Entertainment 3925
Flatline Records 3925
20/20 Proof Records 3800
Deaf Jam Records 3750
Incilin Productions 3600
Rainmen Records 3550
GnomesayinTambout 3450
Bamboozled Records 3375
Smart-Dumb Rappers Records 3300
Brick Productions 3250
Cool Cash Collective 3200
Ambulance Entertainment 3175
626 WreckChords 3125
Yes Baby Yes Entertainment 3075
BlackStar Records 2975
Diamond Ballers Records 2900
Harleyworld Music 2825
Quarter Water Juice Records 2775
Game One Records 2725
11206 Records 2675
Roscoes Records & Waffles 2575
Bodega Records 2550
Renegade Records 2475
Windbreaker Records 2425
Bulletproof Records 2400
NYC Records 2350
Dead Presidents Records 2325
Derailed Records 2075
Avant-Garde Records 2075
R.adabing I.ntontanton P.roductions 2075
Da Wig Snatcherz 1950
Paperclip Records 1950
Mental Calisthenics Records 1850
Cloud Nine Records 1850
Chaos Records 1725
Likwid Tangs Music 1575
I Fux Entertainment 1450
Buffoonery Recordings 1125
Fingered Records 1075

I put together a few graphs to chart some of the specific info that was gleaned from the scoring this quarter. Shouts to El Gringo Colombiano for creating the spreadsheet that powered the cMFL.

money pts

Money Points > Notoriety Points
The pie chart above shows us that Notoriety Points were nearly one-fourth of the total points earned this quarter. Thanks to Remy Ma blasting the shit out of her former weedcarrier/wigbrusher and Foxy Brown just being her 7-30 self there was a good number of points to be had from rappers acting bad. Not bad meaning good, but bad meaning bad.

region pts

Regional Points
Here we see a bar graph that describes to us which regions were the heavyweights in the cRap Music Fantasy League. The West coast should go kill themselves by ghostriding their whips off the Golden Gate Bridge. How the hell are y’all gonna get pwned by international cRappers? Mitchy Slick, you got the whole Westside on your back player. It’s time to go in hard or that chick M.I.A. will have you beat. And that party people, would be fucked the fuck up.

ego mania

Teh Ghey Titan EgoMania
Some of the best artists mask their insecurities behind a facade of zealous self-assuredness. Fisty Scent was always a cocksure entertainer, but ‘Ye Tudda’s ego has gone out the roof to touch the sky. Somebody please get this man a spaceship.

There’s still a few weeks left in this quarter so it ain’t over ’til the Black lady sings. Here’s two more tracks from the saviors of Hip-Hop music. Fisty Scent wins this round easily because MARY J. BLIGE >>> Coldplay’s CHRIS MARTIN.


FISTY SCENT – ‘All Of Me’ (featuring MARY J. BLIGE


‘YE TUDDA – ‘Homecoming’ (featuring CHRIS MARTIN)