Pumping Up Some Middle East Diplomacy…

March 27th, 2007

iraqn

I told you folks before that it was going down like a James Brown rent party…

U.S. warships are posting up along the coast of Iran and waiting for G DUBBZ to hollar back. What’s really at stake will be how the Middle East receives essential energy like electricity, heat and water. If the U.S. makes their push now and wrangles control of the region Halliburton will be the most important corporation for the next fifty years.

No wonder Halliburton moved it’s corporate headquarters to Dubai. Them niggas want to stay on top of their money on the daily basis, right at the source. It’s not only oil that’s important but the future energy sources that oil makes possible. If the U.S. let’s Iran become energy independent then how will we control smaller states like Syria and Jordan? Fuck that! Everyone has to buy from us. We are the hardbody bully on the block. Although we can’t just come out and say that since the rest of the world is already jealous of our supreme clientele. Instead we should say something slick like the conservative Muslim government in Iran is supporting terrorism.

Ha! They shootin’. Made you look.

By the way things are shaping up we may have our foot up that Iranian arse before July 4th. My opinion is eff ’em. If shitting on Iran gives me cheaper gas prices then who am I to get in the way of this imperialist manifest destiny? Rock on with your bad self G DUBBZ.

JIGS IN SPACE…

March 27th, 2007

charles hall

Most people have enough sense to read news headlines from any place other than here, but for those of you foolish enough to think that I have any common sense left in my brain, here is my favorite newsreel story from the weekend…

BARRINGTON IRVING, a 23yr old aerospace student from Jamaica is preparing to circumnavigate the globe in a single engine plane that he built from donated parts.

To be young, gifted and Black. I can just imagine the young Mr.IRVING rummaging through the Trenchtown junkyards, cobbling his plane together from discarded BMW parts and empty soup cans.

This young man’s spirit and determination reminds me of one of the greatest stories in jig folklore. The story of the Old Negro Space Program. I’m sure you’ve seen this before, but it’s funny and true, so watch it again.

Inside A G-Chat Conversation With DP Dot Com And ZILLA SAYS!

March 27th, 2007

braids

DP Dot Com: What Do It Smell Like?!?
zillasays: Bo Derek’s braids
DP Dot Com: baby powder and pee pee
zillasays: Downy and ass cheek
DP Dot Com: right guard and funk
zillasays: behind the ear funk
DP Dot Com: belly button funk
zillasays: wet ass and dry pussy
DP Dot Com: pussy on your fingers and you let it dry up funk
zillasays: behind the knee funk on an August afternoon
DP Dot Com: in between the toes sweat funk
zillasays: smells like a crackhead’s cough

cameltoe

zillasays: you got a gross mind homey
DP Dot Com: from the man that asks WDISL?
zillasays: sometimes you look at the starlet’s cameltoe and you wonder…when that thong is laying on the floor, what could it possibly smell like..
DP Dot Com: tabasco and dirty nuts
zillasays: damn… even then, if i’d smelt that on Beyonce i’d still poke.
DP Dot Com: I poke just to create the smell
zillasays: end it all with “i’ma tell everybody that you stink Beyonce.”
DP Dot Com: hahahahahahahahaha

teen cutie

DP Dot Com: yo fam, I hit this shit one time that was so funky, but I had to hit it ‘cuz she was so cute
zillasays: the fineness outweighed the funk
DP Dot Com: but when I was on the outstroke she made my bedroom stank
zillasays: lol, did u send her home?
DP Dot Com: she lived in the hood and I didn’t walk her home
zillasays: why do the stank chicks wanna hang out n stuff afterwards like they can’t smell themselves
DP Dot Com: they must can not, but I never had no broad that foul as that chick. Evar! I’ll snack a fine bitch seat too. A fine bitch tho’, with a pretty pussy
zillasays: suppose she’s fine bodywise but her puss looks like its had too many visitors, would u still eat the ass?
DP Dot Com: if the ass is pretty then why not? never front on a pretty behind. pun always intended.

stop drinking

A MOMENT OF SILENCE…

March 26th, 2007

mascot

For my brother from another mother, JASON RAY, who attended the University of North Carolina and was the team mascot. My dream is to one day return to college and to wear the costume of the sports teams mascot. When I do, it will be with the memory of my fallen brother who lost his life doing what he loved the most.

A moment of silence goes out to all of you who have crapped out of the college basketball pool. There’s always two ways to win at DP Dot Com and the Bonus Points pool administered by LM will be completed by this weekend. I’ll be sad when this shit is all over, maybe we’ll do a pool for the NBA Playoffs? Let me know what you think?

Here’s the current Bonus Points tally…

P-CITY = 8
LM = 6
CASHUS CLAY = 5
The DALLAS = 3
SASHA = 3
CB4 = 2
J trademark = 4

In the meantime and in between time I will hold on to my dream of becoming a school mascot. You do know that you are allowed to do anything you want to a co-ed as long as you have the costume on.

mascot

Real Life Imitating Art Imitating Real Life…

March 25th, 2007

50 story

Last week in NYC, rap music’s resident nut case TONY YAYO accosted a teenager on the street apparently because he was wearing the t-shirt of a rival entertainment company. The abuse included manhandling, profanity and reportedly a slap to the face. What TONY YAYO didn’t realize was that the main reason that the 14yr old boy was wearing the t-shirt was because his father owns the rival entertainment company.

That company, Czar Entertainment, produced the DVD that details the real life story of KELVIN DARNELL MARTIN. The Brooklyn hoodlum who would come to be known and feared as the notorious Fifty Cent.

50

JIMMY ‘Henchman’ ROSEMOND and his company Czar Entertainment found themselves embroiled in a bitter lawsuit with the artist who the world now knows as Fifty Cent. CURTIS JACKSON filed an injunction to stop the distribution of the real Fifty Cent story because of what he felt was his own disparaging portrayal on the DVD.

mugly

Eye liner is the new gangsta – (c)Candice

At a recent awards ceremony at the Apollo Theatre in NYC these warring factions came a little too close for comfort and the awards show had to be abruptly cancelled. It seems that TONY YAYO can’t be in New York without being in the center of controversy. It was just last year that he was rumored to have been responsible for the shooting at a music video taping that left one person dead. While that crime remains unsolved because of the reluctance of witnesses to submit information to investigators this most recent incident is being followed up by the police.

All I’m saying is that all the parties involved are Haitian and if we’ve discussed one thing here at this site it’s the fact that Haitians are ridiculously hardbody and prah’lee the most gully immigrant group evar. I expect the streets to be littered with the bodies of dead rappers this spring. Get rich or die trying is more than a mantra to these Haitian gangstas, it’s a lifestyle.