GAZA 2006 = Worst Year Evar!

December 19th, 2006

gaza

O.K. Another disclaimer. Maybe this wasn’t the Palestinians worst year evar. There was that year that the United States and England appropriated their land to create Israel, as opposed to placing it in Germany, or Poland, or Russia, since that’s where all the settlers are from anyhoo. And to tell you the truth it wasn’t such a bad year if you died, because hey, your dead now. That whole Palestinian family that was out on the beach and got shelled to death has a silver lining in that bloody cloud of smoke. No one has to pay burial fees. Good show Tel Aviv.

Let’s face facts though, at some point the Palestinians will run out of children to kill. This will happen long before Israel runs out of bombs and bullets. And with the Supreme Court of Israel giving the nod to assassinations along with collateral damage the killings have just begun. So what should the good people of Gaza do in order to possibly see December of 2007?

  • Change name to Egyptians
  • Move to Greenland
  • Move to Antartica
  • Move to raft colony inside Mediterrenean Sea
  • Change religions(preferably to Judaism)
  • See, it’s not like the Palestinians don’t have options.

    REASONABLE DOUBT = #1 ALBUM OF 2006

    December 18th, 2006

    old head

    I should prah’lee qualify that headline statement since 2006 is the first time that I heard the ‘Reasonable Doubt’ album in it’s entirety. I wasn’t a fan of Jay-Z after he switched his style up to become a ‘hustler’. First off, what grown man aspires to be a ‘hustler’? Don’t hustlers do favors for other men?!? O.K. So I think these dudes meant hustling as in drug selling. That’s not as bad anymore, but where did all this come from? That wasn’t the style that dude brought into the rap arena so I wasn’t getting on board. I was a big fan of Uncle Ralph’s video program and dude did not pop that shit in ‘Hawaiian Sophie’. Anyhoo…

    After I saw the ‘Resonable Doubt’ show at Radio City Hall I decided to listen to the album once and for all. I have to say that I enjoyed it from beginning to end. It’s the perfect CD to play inside your car while your driving on the highway. It’s like the soundtrack for anyone driving the getaway car after a bank robbery. It was total escapism. This Jay-Z guy is gonna be somebody one of these days. Since all the important Hip-Hop sites (as per XXL magazine) are doing their versions of year-end top 10 lists I thought I’d drop my own. Wanna see it? Well here it go…

    1. Reasonable Doubt – Jay-Z
    Since this is the first time that I listened to the entire album it’s like it dropped this year and there was no way dude was making this list on the strength of that ‘Kingdome Come’ woodchuck.

    2. Champion Sound – JAYLIB
    I had to listen to this again after ol’ dude passed away and the shit is still truck like a motherfucker.

    3. Fishscale – Ghostface
    Ghost brings it time after time. In ten years y’all will realize how futuristic this dude was and then y’all will try to buy my Iron Man kicks from me. No dice.

    4. Hip-Hop Is Dead – NaS
    NaS is another cat who seems to be re-energized with his career. Most disagree with me but I thought dude killed it on the track ‘Who Killed It’. The character called NaS doing a character’s voice is genius. All the haters are the same dudes that prah’lee couldn’t figure out the ‘Rewind’ track from Stillmatic. I give NaS credit for not being lazy or a coward to trying new shit. I was also the only nigga who liked the ‘Owe Me One’ track with Ginuwine so fuck y’all again.

    5. King – T.I.
    Yeah, and what?!?

    6. Doctor’s Advocate – Gayme
    A sweet, hearfelt G-song dedicated to his one true love. Just fun alone for counting the number of times he mentions Dre. Hint… Too many.

    7. Most Known Unknown – Three 6 Mafia
    I know this shit came out last year, but I didn’t give a fuck about these niggas ’til they won the trophy! And I still don’t care about these niggas, but I have to show respect to these cats for making stripper club music replace hyphy as that fringe Hip-Hop sound for the ’06. You know them niggas from Duke University was trying to pwn that girl to the Three 6 Mafia soundtrack.

    8. Game Theory – ROOTS
    Have to give it up to the greatest sound system in Hip-Hop. The ROOTS musicianship will keep some cats relavent long past their due dates.

    9. The Outsider – DJ Shadow
    Nahh, but I thought I’d throw that in anyhoo for the clipster contingent (no Breihan).

    10. Niggaz & White Girlz – Kirb & Chris
    Hands down the greatest blend of Hip-Hop and big 80’s evar. Get up on it.

    For those of you that are scoring at home you should know that an album doesn’t need to be released this calendar year to find my wheelhouse of taste. If my car hadn’t been broken into and my OB4CL disk stolen that would have been the top album of 2006 again. So if anybody has the .rar for that one and the Chili Peppers ‘Californication’ send me the link. Nah’Mean?!?

    Who’s Your Daddy?!?

    December 18th, 2006

    ham sammich

    No, seriously, who is the baby’s father? It makes me wonder sometimes if JOSEPH would have had a paternity test done on MARY or would he have just let it ride as we say in the ‘hood.

    Just in time for the holidays is news that the prostitute stripper part time college student from the center of the Duke lacrosse team rape case will be giving birth again in February. The judge assigned to the trial has permitted the defense’s motion to admit the DNA from this child as evidence for the case. WTF?!?

    This kid is already fucked the fuck up for life by being born to a whore lady. What purpose do they have for bringing this kid into the mix? To confirm that the baby’s father was one of the men that this chick had sex with during the weekend that she was allegedly raped? Guess what people? She was a whore. Whores have sex. A lot. But most importantly, whores have sex with people that PAY for sex.

    These good ol’ boys didn’t pay the whore for sex, but instead they tried to give her GHB. What they didn’t realize is that she was already high from smoking a blunt of Norf Cackalack’s finest dank weed and she had also ddrunk a fifth of Cisco. All the GHB they gave her only made her nauseous and sick to her stomach instead of uninhibited.

    Let’s face it, no one from Duke scored any pussy from this chick, but whoever from this party was fucking with the controlled substances should get the same sentence that some kid in Raleigh faces when caught with a hand full of crack.

    The Monday Morning Quarterback Wk.15

    December 18th, 2006

    grammatica

    Well looky here, looky here. Another weekend of shockers and upsets. I can only blame myself for not selecting Tennessee to topple the Jaguars. My better football sense knew it was going down. Some of you are using the Heavy Roller picks to perfection. ESBEE had a lousy week in the pool but racked up with his Heavy Roller points. The higher your total score becomes the less the H.R. points will help you. The pressure is already mounting on AMADEO as he relies on the bonus points to hold him atop the lead. I bet he goes down this upcoming weekend.

    Shouts go out to SASQUATCH FARTELLEONE who has willed himself into position with Bonus Points and flatulence. CANDICE maintains a snipers’ eye view of the lead as well. Did anyone pick up on the fact that LM went with the Cowboys and not with his beloved Redskins? Props to everyone who predicted that the Eagles would shit on the Giants. Here’s a look at the points breakdown for this week…

    THE DALLAS = 8 pts (69)
    CANDICE = 11 pts (75)
    40’s-Worth “Bumpy” Johnson = 4 pts (68)
    LM = 8 pts (72)
    AMADEO = 8 pts (77)
    Mr.KAMOJI = 10 pts (75)
    SASQUATCHFART = 10 pts (74)
    J trademark= 6 pts (57)
    PRYNSEX = 9 pts (72)
    S DOT = 10 pts (73)
    ALEX2.0 = 8 pts (72)
    ESBEE = 26 pts (65)
    SHONQUAYSHAH= 6 pts (55)
    TIFFANY = 18 pts (57)

    The tension is building… Who will win this thing???

    NBA SEASON 2006-07: Yes Homo!

    December 17th, 2006

    knicks

    Before we even discuss the basketball game that broke out during the boxing match at Madison Square Garden last night can we all just look at the above image for a moment. How gay does that look?

    The NBA has seen all of this before and they haven’t helped themselves either in their greedy lust to find another MICHAEL JORDAN. When you draft athletes solely for their athleticism then you missing out on the most important component in sports. Sportsmanship. All of these wonderful athletes know how to run and jump and dunk the basketball, but none of them have enough basketball skill to make a good bounce pass or to defend the pick and roll. These guys are one trick ponies that don’t even know how to respect their own teammates, so why would we expect them to respect another team?

    showbee

    I blame this on the fact that a lot of these players are raised by their mothers or their grandmothers. JIMMY’s got a little bitch in him and it manifests itself when he gets frustrated. I commended the league for making all of these guys take off the pantyhose this year. It wasn’t a gay look because they were tight, it was a gay look because they WERE tights.

    The NBA’s image problem however won’t be solved by butching up the uniforms. As long as America promotes this twisted concept of masculinity to its men, Black men will end up looking like savages or worse, hockey players.

    panties